WIB to the Village (Reynolda kind, this ain’t WeFoCo)

WIB to the Village (Reynolda kind, this ain’t WeFoCo)

QIC: BAM

Date: 9/24/2020

PAX: Cherry Pie, Root Canal (WD), Greenspan (WB), Wobegon, BAM

Evidently you get bonus points for writing up long and windy backblasts that take you through the French Alps and help you understand why Resistor is so surly and superior to the rest of us.  So, here we go.

There were quite a few cars in the parking lot when YHC arrived, but with the lights of Purre Barrrreeee still dark and only one other person in the parking, the pax were curious.  This mystery would be solved later.

Since the Q has never been to France or anywhere over there, my memories usually are much more domestic.  That’s how we say it in #merica, don’t know what know fancy domestique is, but know I don’t want it.

Nothing more ‘merican than tobacco and racing, ain’t got no time to enjoy mountains or fancy stuff when you’re turning left and going fast.  So the home of our local tobacco baron and the original speed track was the perfect location.

Evidently the site Q got into the other ‘merican past time of whiskey and went on a three day bender and wound up on the beaches of Tijuana with new a tattoo.  Thankfully YHC writes down when he has the Q, so don’t need no gubmint support to do the right thing.

Back to the race.  The course was set up with nothing but left turns, just like the Good Lord intended, no bells, no stupid bubbly drinks, no dadgum cobblestone, and wheels were meant to be covered.  Asphalt or the beaches of Daytona are the only appropriate racing surfaces.  Yeah, bricks are just some anti-‘merican attempt to be fancy.  That’s how socialism starts.

There are 3 pit stops on this track, because 3.  If you have to ask, you probably wear a beret.  In addition to the legendary Dale, Sr., Dale Murphy also wore 3, and anytime that Dale can be honored, it should be done.  He’s still getting shafted by Cooperstown committee. I mean the man hit almost 400 home runs on absolutely awful teams, sired something like 12 kids, and was the spokesman for PET milk products.  Dang marxists taking over everything.

Station 1 – Parking lot

• 15 Merkins
• 15 Squat jumps

Station one was to remind the pax that it was the first station.  Resting high above the other parts of the track, to give them a sense of superiority just as RJR did as he strolled these grounds looking over all he owned.  Of course, he only lived 6 months after Reynolda House was finished, so be careful what you survey.

Mosey to station 2, Circle at Boat House on Lake Katherine(or if you’re Cherry Pie or Zima, sprint, just CP, since Zima was too busy having yogurt, probably the yoplait kind)

• 15 Low Flutters (both sides Boomerang)
• 15 Peter Parkers (yep, both sides)

Station 2 reminded the pax, of how we do things in ‘merica.  If we want a lake, then by god we make a lake!  It’s at the core of what we do, not gonna let any communists stop us.

Mosey to station 3, in front of Kate B. Reynolds Foundation office

• 15 side lunges (do I need to repeat myself?)
• 15 sec elbow plank

This station was to remind pax that if you make enough money, your kids can be celebrated for being generous with your money.

Mosey back to start, repeato, but add 3 reps each lap.  Why 3?  Because it’s more than 2 and less than 4.

So, Cherry Pie got in like 48 laps, Root Canal and Greenspan ran 47.5 laps, Wobegon 42, and the Q got in 4.  We don’t do participation jerseys over here and come up with all kinds of made up prizes.  If you’re not first, your last, just like it says in the Bible.  Don’t be bringing your liberal cheese eatin’ snooty-ness over here.  It doesn’t go well with our Freedom Fries.