Return to the Bourbon (Chase)

Return to the Bourbon (Chase)

Date: 10.2.26 - 10.3.26

PAX: Van 1 – The Business Van: Fois Gras, Burns, Huckleberry, Workbench, The Singing Cowboy, Greenspan, Boomerang (driver)

Van 2 – The Party Van: Schlitz, Frostbite, Zephyr, Rollback, Slowpitch, Van Gogh (driver & runner)

Five years ago, YHC rode on the shoulders of giants and Zima to a beautiful land of horses, rolling hills, and distilleries still semi-closed due to Covid.  The opportunity to run it back and see what was missed arose at the end of 2025 when a group expressed interest in doing a road / van race.  In short order, 11 stout men were secured.  Needing 12 to field a full team, we had several near gets, with Lunch Lady (we missed you!) even participating in the team drafting of legs but having to bow out due to injury.  Near the last minute, Van Gogh raised his hand after having successfully convinced his wife that she should be a parent chaperon on a church retreat while he went to Kentucky to drink bourbon.  We somehow then persuaded Van Gogh to both run and drive one of the vans upon assurances that he would get an extra 10,000 IPC reps added to his score!

Aside from personnel shenanigans, the lead up to Bourbon Chase was unexpectedly tense, with rumblings of Ragnar being in financial distress.  Those rumors became a three-alarm fire when the Ragnar Appalachian Trail race, a race that several of us have participated in for the past handful of years, was canceled in August.  Thankfully, Bourbon Chase was rescued and our adventure was on!

Warmarama:

Two vans departed at separate times from Alcatraz on Thursday morning, scheduled to meet up at Angel’s Envy in Louisville at 6pm.  Amazingly, the number of stops required by middle-aged bladders was minimal.  Following race check in, we convened for pre-race dinner at Cattleman’s Roadhouse at 139 Historical Trail; Shepherdsville, KY.  Pro tip: there are multiple Cattleman’s Roadhouses in the area and at least one of them has an address similar enough that Van Gogh took Van 2 to the wrong location.  Eventually, we were reunited and carbs were loaded, protein was ravaged, drinks were drunk.  We met a lovely gentleman who instructed other people at the bar to “grow some balls for Jesus.”  Man, that pumped us all up to get after it (and get to bed).  After a short night of sleep in a nearby hotel, the six riders of van 1 plus our chauffeur Boomerang arose early Friday morning and drove 20 minutes south to the Jim Beam Distillery for Burns’s 0545 first leg launch.  At the start line, free coffee with Jim Beam cream liqueur was being served.  As our team name declared, “We’ve made worse decisions!”  It was delicious.

The Thang:

Burns launched, and then one-by-one, the rest of van 1 completed their first legs.  Throughout van 1’s first leg, the threat of impending rain was pronounced, and Fois Gras, having leg 6, endured the brunt of a heavy rainstorm.  Despite this, he surged toward the transfer zone at Maker’s Mark and handed off to Rollback, the first runner of van 2.

Despite being self-proclaimed party animals, van 2 took care of business and plowed through rain, albeit grumpily by some reports.  Nantan Frostbite even ran a sub-8:00 6.5-mile leg, continuing his ascendancy to king of the hill.  Schlitz brought it home, handing back off to Burns to begin van 1’s second leg in downtown Danville, the most picturesque small town to which YHC has ever been.  Danville is home to Centre College, the spelling of which was very displeasing to Boomerang, a public library with incredible plumbing, and smoked old fashions.  Van 1’s mostly dry second leg included stops in Stanford where the pastor is the sheriff, the middle-school teacher is the Ragnar enforcer, and roads are named Knob Lick.

Van 2 then reciprocated, giving Van 1 just barely enough time to attempt to sleep in the van or on the gym floor at Anderson County High School, before the final legs commenced.  Upon completing its third legs, Van 1 drove to downtown Lexington, had a lovely breakfast at Doodles, and were rehydrating at Lexington Brewing & Distilling Company when the text came through that Schlitz had launched the final leg for van 2.  The entire team gathered near the end and drafted off Schlitz’s shoulders to cross the finish line together; two hundred-plus miles and over 10,000 feet of elevation gain completed in just over 32 hours, finishing just after 1pm!

The rest of the day was very boring.

Fin.

Announcements:

• We need volunteers for Samaritan Ministries service night on 10/19.

Prayer Requests:

• Praise for good health, no injuries, and a safe trip!
• Prayers that we would all be better men as we return to our families.

Burns took us out, thanking the Sky Q for all of our blessings.

NMM:

• T-claps to everyone. We would be remiss if we did not call out 1) the remarkable recovery and work put in by Huckleberry after snapping his leg in half and 2) the grit of Schlitz, coming off a grueling season of life with a newborn and house move.  Both guys are HIMs.  Schlitz had Bud Heavies for each runner when they completed their third leg.    Tears, then beers, baby.
• Huckleberry was also vindicated in the dispute that has raged for 3 years over Cinnamon Toast Crunch vs. all other cereals.  CTC was the only cereal consumed during the race, and no one got hurt.  Correlation = Causation.
• The Singing Cowboy was YHC’s accountability partner throughout the swelting summer as we exchanged texts of workout summaries each day. What a motivator!  Just prior to his last leg, TSC said, “I’m feeling frisky.”  He went out and threw down a 9:22 pace!
• Zephyr took home the fastest leg, finishing his second leg on a 7:30 pace! He also designed and delivered sweet orange Bourbon Chase headbands for the whole team.
• Fois Gras is the nicest human being you could ever hope to spend 33 hours in a van with. There was never anything but a smile on that man’s face, and words of encouragement were his habit.
• Workbench was clearly on another level, having completed a triathlon the weekend prior to Ragnar and then smoking his legs.  His second leg, a 6.5 miler, was especially fleet.
• Slowpitch’s exit velocity was off the Trackman scale, surprising no one but himself. He also was a servant to the whole team by negotiating with Enterprise for our vans.  Tremendous preparation and work was put in by that man.
• Burns had the most elevation gain of any member of the team. He also had the best mustache of any runner at the race.  It wasn’t even close.
• Rollback took the opportunity to replace the title belt he lost to Pele with some neck bling for running the longest leg of the race. He also accumulated the most miles of any of our runners.
• The Nantan brought home the most bourbon of anyone, even Van Gogh. Frostbite only spent double the already generous budget his M had set.  He earned it with his zip zip zipping up and down hills.  That man is not wasting his youth.
• Speaking of Van Gogh, the big guy brought wisdom (he was the van 2 war daddy), experience (he’s done this race multiple times), and priorities (bourbon > running) to the entire team. We’re all thankful he jumped in when he did to wear multiple hats.  The email to F3 Greenwood requesting your points be added to IPC 2026 has been sent.
• Boomerang may have had the best time of anyone on the trip. Although it was not captured on video, we have multiple witnesses that he was sprinting up a hill in Stanford, KY.  Stanford is home to the aforementioned middle school teacher and also Caval, a friendly fella who provided us with a deep history of the town…multiple times.   He also hand-carried toilet paper rolls to the race’s porta johns.
• We also ran into Hedwig at the finish line who had captained a team of ER docs and other medical professionals.  Kotters (kind of)!

It was an amazing trip with wonderful fellas.  If you haven’t participated in a team race, YHC wholeheartedly recommends it.  It can propel all 3 of your Fs.  Just reach out to me or one of the other guys on the team, and we’d be happy to start running with you, beginning Friday.