More Fun than a Barrel of Monkey Humpers

QIC: Van Pelt

Date: 03/06/2018

PAX: Spicoli, Lite Bright, Birdhole, Hedwig, Zima, Van Gogh, Root Canal, Mutton, BAM. PETA, Thistle, Sleeper

PAX:  Spicoli, Lite Bright, Birdhole, Hedwig, Zima, Van Gogh, Root Canal, Mutton, BAM. PETA, Thistle, Sleeper, Van Pelt (Q)

YHC’s first Q of the famous Flatline.  I must admit a little nervousness as to whether I could produce the high quality, high intensity workout for which Flatline is known.  YHC is old.

First sight of the Armageddon is that Spicoli was EARLY.  Anybody seen four horsemen around here?  The PAX gathered, disclaimer was given, virtual shovel flag planted, and off we went.  But no…we did not start with a brisk dash out of the parking lot.

The Thang:

Instead of sprinting off into the gloom, we assembled for 8-count body builders.  10 IC.  “A lot of counting” was heard from somewhere in the east.  Thankfully, early bird Spicoli kept count as no one else seemed to bother.  Then, we were off.  To the amphitheater.

Beach Season is almost here and we need to get swole.

  • 10 donkey kick merkins OYO…hold plank
  • 10 froggers OYO…hold plank
  • 10 low plank jacks IC
  • Recover with some Imperial Walkers
  • 10 alt shoulder taps IC…hold plank
  • 10 Molotov merkins OYO…hold plank
  • 10 alpines/rock skippers/side to sides (whatever you want to call them) IC

Shoulders fully smoked, we headed down Spruce, stopping along the way for series of monkey humpers.  We made our way to the Buxton Half Pipe (not quite as inspiring as the Olympics).

Triple Nickel on Buxton with 5 hand release burpees and 5 cliff climbers at each end.  5x.  Do some LBCs as the 6 comes in.

Off to Marshall.  Quick detour to the Benton parking lot for some back and forth hand-slap merkin ladders.  #CrowdPleaser.  Partner up…run halfway through lot, 20 hand slap, return to start for 19 hand slap…work your way down the ladder until you feel nauseous.

Head back down Marshall, stopping at various intervals for more monkey humpers.

Mary (flutter, rosalita) in the lot.  Fini.

Ye Ole Moleskine:

Nice range of PAX ages, from the soon-to-be-married to the soon-to-be-grandfathers (I guess…really don’t know that to the be case).  The mumblechatter started early with the body builders and built to a crescendo as we approached the Buxton half pipe.  “Wait, we are going downhill.”  “We have to climb back up.”  “I have run this before.”  “I have never run this before.”  Luckily the triple nickel brought some semblance of calm to the morning.

The hand slap merkin ladder was quite awful.  Made it from 20 down to somewhere around 12.  Next time, we will leave enough time to finish it.  #MoneysWorth

The utility workers enjoyed our display of monkey humpers at the corner of Marshall and 4th.  Not sure what they are telling their M’s right now.  “Bunch of crazy boys with names like Zima and Mutton are out there in the dark, humping in the air.  Strangest thing I’ve seen all day.”  #GetOverIt.

YHC has been working on counting cadence for Mary while walking to my car to get the phone.  Perfected it this morning.

All pushed hard.  We are now ready for Beach Season.

Announcements:

  • Prayers for Spicoli’s buddy…fighting cancer and had emergency surgery.
  • Prayers for LB’s fellow church member, Mary…also fighting cancer.
  • Hanging Rock Hike on March 24 to celebrate Hedwig’s upcoming nuptials.  Join in so you can: (1) watch Hedwig carry your stuff, (2) ask Hedwig if your hiking shorts makes your rear look big (Hedwig–LIE!), and (3) tell him that he is hiking incorrectly.  Should be a blast.
  • First Pres–opportunities to work overflow shelter.  BAM

Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

4 Comments

  • Thistle
    March 6, 2018 11:07 am

    Mission accomplished #VanPelt – your beatdown exceeded my expectations and ability. Note to #Hedwig to never ever give you the #Flatline keys again. My shoulders and arms feel as big as #Zima thinks his are.

  • Justin Bailey
    March 7, 2018 8:18 am

    Looks like you had no problem producing a high intensity workout. Never doubted it for a second. Nice work!

  • Nick Ashburn
    March 7, 2018 9:25 am

    Extra painful workout VP! The ridiculous shoulder burners and repeats up #ankle-twister hill nearly did me in! Definitely felt it during today’s workout. YHC agrees with Thistle – it will be a long time before you get the Flatline keys again! Excellent workout. Thanks for Qing.

  • Zuckerberg
    April 23, 2018 12:52 pm

    I just read this and my chest and shoulders started hurting and swelling up just from reading it. Wowzers!

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