Love Hurts
QIC: Tonka
Date: 10.21.2026
PAX: @Rollback @Slowpitch @Zephyr @Wahoo @Subfloor @Superfly @Lunchlady @Nutcracker @Tonka
Ziffel, a distinguished PAX in our ranks, has been working out in the same vicinity as my M recently and has not ceased to rag on YHC about how easily she could dominate me. This is sadly factual. The gig is up.
I thought about the old adage, “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em”. Certainly appropriate given our marriage vows.
Maybe this is not emasculating. Maybe this is just a part of our dynamic as a married couple, right? She protects me when the bullies of the world want to take my lunch money.
Regardless, I knew I needed to get with it, or my own friends would continue haranguing me about my stilts for legs. I sought the immense wisdom of my muse, who graciously gave me a few tips before my embarkation into the unfamiliar world of intentional leg training. A plan was in place, and the unsuspecting PAX were put in my cross hairs.
I arrive to a cold parking lot with 8 other PAX. When did winter arrive? There were conspiracy theories discussed about NC’s immediate switch from sweltering summer to frigid winter without the evasive crisp idyllic mornings we hope for. We soldier on.
0530 – MS – CP
WRM
SSH
PLANK – DWD – STRETCHY STRETCH
FIRE HYDRANTS
STATIONARY DONKEY KICKS
AV
WHIRLY
SIDE LUNGE
LAP AROUND THE PARKING LOT
THANG
Grab a “challenging” rock and head to the shelter.
LEG DAY
All exercises were X20 Reps
- HIP THRUSTS
- BOX JUMPS
- BULGARIAN SPLIT SQUATS
- BOX JUMPS
- RDL
- BOX JUMPS
- GOBLETS
- BOX JUMPS
- SIDE LUNGES
- BOX JUMPS
CRABBY PAX
Back to launch and line up at the end parking line.
CRAB WALK BLOCK KICK to the other end
- WEIGHTED CALF RAISES
- BONNIE BLAIRS
- BOBBY HURLEY
REV CRAB WALK BLOCK DRAG back to start
Blocks up and time for one last evolution, just for @Slowpitch.
BACKPEDAL up park driveway x2
fin.
COT
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Rollback Bday Q at Mayhem next week.
PRAYER
Wahoo 9th Wedding Anniversary Praise
NMM
ROLLBACK had a rare human moment this morning and said his hamstring work needed some attention. The indomitable man seemed to flag in word only and crushed it all morning. All the same, the admission was encouraging.
SLOWPITCH was accused by SUBFLOOR of playing the Ice Age soundtrack as music Q. I heard no confirmation or rebuttal, but regardless of the source – it was fire. Thank you for stepping up. Sadly, he did not get his Hill to Nowhere reverse jaunt he so desperately wanted, but he impressed with his DB drill up the drive.
ZEPHYR took shade for his shorts sans leggin’s this morning. He shut down the haters with his full picnic tabletop box jumps and took no more words from the lot for the remainder of the beatdown.
WAHOO was so pumped for YHC’s Q, he had his outfit laid out yesterday morning in preparation. He even snoozed through Parliament to ensure he was well rested. This is the level of pregame preparation YHC expects moving forward. Happy Anniversary!
SUBFLOOR called his own Omaha to the pregnant crab walk on the return trip. There are not many cases where a pregnant crab walk is the easier version of the called exercise. I took this rare modification as high praise.
SUPERFLY represented the double respect crowd and hardly sweat. He also endured sharing a picnic bench with YHC as I clumsily pushed our “box” a half inch to the side each jump. No scolding from this one, only quiet focus and execution.
LUNCHLADY went hard this morning and posted his results on slack. Teachers love to see their students excel, PEDs or no. Strong work, my friend!
NUTCRACKER and I became acquainted for the first time this morning and the man could not be intimidated. He made no complaints, finished everything early and didn’t break a sweat.
My M is duly impressed with all of you and you have returned to me dignity in my household. For that I thank you.
It was a pleasure to lead, gents.
Tonka
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