Thurst Traps

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Thurst Traps

QIC: Zima

Date: 8/29/26

PAX: Sandman, Crash (Murph), Root Canal (Murph), Head Hunter (Murph), Van Gogh (Murph), Ziffel, Zima (Murph)

TIME WASTERS.
They were so unimportant that I forgot what we did, except for the 5 penalty burpees for Ziffel disrespecting the time of the rest of the PAX.

 

BEATDOWN.

Grab two cinder blocks and farmer carry them  to the parking lot by the playground. That’s harder than it seems.

 

Every ten minutes, “run” (or “mall walk” as some people suggested) the Rubber Ducky / Cruiser route (if you know, you know!).

 

Here’s the real beatdown:

Move your cinder blocks down the parking lot. Start by the playground and travel to the end, stopping at each island. But it’s a little bit of a back-and-forth workout. When you get to an island:

 

If there are cinder blocks, do:

10 Burpovers and 15 Thrusters

Farmer carry both blocks to the next island

10 Blockees and 15 Gas Pumps

Run back to start, stopping at each island

 

If there are no cinder blocks, do:

(when going away from playground) 15 Captain Thors

(when returning to playground) 15 Spider Merkins

Run to next island

 

DONE.

 

NMM.

  • Ziffel has trouble keeping his shirt on, but when you are that damn sexy, you might as well flaunt it. My shirt, on the other hand, will be super glued, stapled, and duct taped to make sure it doesn’t accidentally come off.
  • YHC saw things I never thought were possible from Van Gogh and Head Hunter, but I’m not entirely sure they actually happened due to my own delirium so I won’t state them here. Just know that they were almost surreal.
  • Crash is special. He also can talk a lot. Sometimes what he says is meaningful.
  • Root Canal is an inspiration to us all. When given the option to quit, he politely declined. There were not a lot of polite things said to the Q today, but this gentleman declined the offer to end the workout in a complimentary way.
  • When we were young, most of us learned that if we don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. In related news, Sandman was pretty silent today. But don’t let the silence fool you, he crushed the beatdown.
  • VG is a stud. That is clearly evidenced by his performance over the last two days. But why then, hack this workout? Why not just destroy the mere humans on a level playing field?
  • Supermax was not the best of ideas this morning. Come to think of it, neither was the EC Murph on Tuesday, the one on Wednesday, the oxygen-sucking EC chase of Burns on Thursday, or the three Qs in four days. Eat your heart out IPC!!!! When do we get to have a normal night’s sleep?
  • I’m used to seeing modifications during workouts, but just sitting down Indian style in the middle of the beatdown was a new one for me, especially considering it didn’t even come close to resembling anything we were supposed to be doing.
  • Does Head Hunter have a weakness? Did he pick up some off-the-books performance enhancers in Rwanda? Does he get stronger just by looking at a workout?
  • Ziffel is a great man. Or at least I think he is. If you just guess at every third word he says, you’ll get this gist of what he’s saying. What I’ve learned is that watches and counting operate differently in Poland.
  • Let’s settle this, Count Crash. Grok is unhinged. That’s not up for debate. But even Grok told me that this workout was not advisable.
  • Van Gogh actually suggested a way to make this beatdown MORE difficult. What the F is wrong with him?
  • At one point, Crash started just saying numbers out loud. We think there was an entire conversation going on inside of head and maybe a little leaked out, but those are unconfirmed reports.
  • When the Q gave the PAX a five minute warning before returning the blocks, most PAX left the beatdown area within two minutes. Not Sandman. He was the last to leave. He stayed past the time to finish his reps. That’s some grit right there.
  • YHC will admit it. Fifteen Spider Merkins was way way way too many. But what could we do? It was written on the wienke. We had to do it, right?
  • The Burpovers devolved quickly, very quickly.
  • YHC is not sure that he has ever seen such an elite group of PAX so purely decimated mid-workout. The week of EC’s and self-Qs must have caught up with the group. If not for Root Canal’s wise counsel (and I’m slightly paraphrasing), we might have all quit. “Eight o’clock will happen with or without me so I might as well participate.”
  • Ask Head Hunter about his experience with man holes and pickle pounders. He’d love to tell you about it.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

  • Sign up for IPC or else Slowpitch will cry.
  • CLimb to Remember on 9/11.
  • Labor Day convergence.
  • IPC Week 0 starts tomorrow.

 

PRAYERS:

  • None spoken.

 

Zima Out.

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