Amerkin 250

Amerkin 250

QIC: Rollback

Date: 7/3/26

PAX: Sea-Man, Slow Pitch, Zephyr, Zima, Rubber Ducky (WD), Tonka (WB), Rollback (QiC)

AMERKIN 250 🇺🇸

America doesn’t turn 250 every day, so there was only one appropriate response…

250 Merkins.

The mission was simple: five Revolutionary War stations, each beginning with 50 merkins before earning the right to continue. Lexington. Concord. Valley Forge. Yorktown. Liberty. Coupons were carried, rifle carried, murder bunnied, farmer carried, and eventually abandoned in favor of a bear crawl around the loop because apparently suffering wasn’t sufficient yet.

The Beatdown

🇺🇸 Concord

• 50 Merkins
• 50 Goblet Squats
• 5 Burpees
• Rifle Carry coupon to Lexington

🇺🇸 Lexington

• 50 Merkins
• 2 laps around the field
• 5 Burpees
• Murder Bunny ~50 yards to Valley Forge

🇺🇸 Valley Forge

• 50 Merkins
• 50 Freddie Mercuries
• 5 Burpees
• Double Farmer Carry (~175 yards) to Yorktown

🇺🇸 Yorktown

• 50 Merkins
• 50 Military Count Side Straddle Hops
• 5 Burpees
• Bear Crawl Wahoo’s Loop back to the start…

🇺🇸 Liberty

• 50 Merkins
• 50 WW2s
• 50 Curls
• 50 Overhead Press

Then, at long last…

Mary.

The six was never far behind, but the front of the pack learned that every new station greeted them with the same welcome:

“Down…50 merkins.”

Mumblechatter

• “Wait…that’s another 50?!”
• “Rollback, I thought America believed in freedom.”
• “This feels oddly unconstitutional.”
• Zima inspected approximately 247 of the 250 merkins and found at least 246 to be suspicious.
• Tonka produced three measurable drops of sweat. Witnesses confirmed this historical event.
• Sea-Man quietly observed, “This really isn’t much different than some of the military training we used to do.” Coming from a Navy veteran, QiC will happily frame that compliment.
• Rubber Ducky and Slow Pitch discovered they share the prestigious Twin Toes Society, united by arthritic big toes. Ducky also reported that his surgery has been scheduled for three consecutive Octobers. We’ll believe it when we see it.
• Zephyr wisely left the white shoes at home. Growth.

By the end, the PAX had completed the full 250 merkins, along with goblet squats, field laps, murder bunnies, Freddie Mercuries, double farmer carries, side-straddle hops, burpees, a lengthy bear crawl, WW2s, curls, and overhead presses.

COT

Two hundred and fifty years is remarkable.

Not because America has always gotten everything right—we certainly haven’t—but because generation after generation has continued striving toward the ideals first declared in 1776: liberty, equality, opportunity, and self-government.

The men standing in the gloom this morning come from different backgrounds, careers, personalities, and perspectives. We don’t have to agree on everything to lock shields, encourage one another, and carry the load together. That’s true in F3, and it’s true for our country.

May we continue to be men who build more than we tear down, who seek unity over division, and who leave our communities stronger than we found them.

Happy 250th, America.

SYITG. 🇺🇸💪