🌧️ BACKBLAST: INSANITY IN THE RAIN 🧠
QIC: Head Hunter
Date: September 23, 2026
PAX: Zima, Starfish, Superfly, Subfloor, Rollback, Schlitz, Nutcracker, Rubber Ducky, Hugo, Drama Queen & QIC Head Hunter
🌧️ BACKBLAST: INSANITY IN THE RAIN 🧠
AO: MAYHEM QIC: Head Hunter PAX: 11 HIMs Weather: 100% chance of poor decisions.
PAX: Zima, Starfish, Superfly, Subfloor, Rollback, Schlitz, Nutcracker, Rubber Ducky, Hugo, Drama Queen & Head Hunter
🧠 THE HYPOTHESIS
What a GLORIOUS morning for a beatdown called INSANITY at an AO called MAYHEM!
The skies opened, the rain poured, and 11 HIMs voluntarily showed up at 0530 to participate in what can only be described as a poorly funded scientific experiment.
There’s a famous definition of insanity, often misattributed to Albert Einstein:
“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
But YHC had a second hypothesis to test:
What happens when you do DIFFERENT things over and over again, expecting the SAME results?
There was only one way to find out.
BURPEES. LOTS OF BURPEES.
🧪 THE THANG: TWO EXPERIMENTS IN STUPIDITY
THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY
YHC announced an EMOM workout. Drama Queen immediately corrected YHC, explaining that this was actually Tabata-style interval training.
Apparently, YHC’s coffee hadn’t kicked in, but his stupidity certainly had.
15 MINUTES:
-
40 seconds: Standard Burpees
-
20 seconds: Rest
-
Repeat 15 times.
In the pouring rain.
Same exercise. Same suffering. Same questionable life choices.
The PAX began questioning the purpose of this experiment. YHC assured them it was all in the name of science.
RESULT: Wet. Miserable. Still stupid.
THE OPPOSITE OF INSANITY
After 15 glorious minutes of aquatic burpees, we moseyed under the pavilion.
The PAX mistakenly assumed things were about to improve.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! (sinister laugh)
15 MORE MINUTES: 40 SECONDS ON / 20 SECONDS OFF.
This time, a DIFFERENT burpee every minute!
-
Durpee Downs: Decline Burpee into a squat instead of a jump.
-
Iurpee Ups: Incline Burpee into a step-up.
-
Mayhem Burpee (Rollback Burpee): Pushup swing into a WWII and back up.
-
Squrpee: Burpee with a squat hold at the bottom.
-
Single Leg Burpee: Left leg.
-
Single Leg Burpee: Right leg.
-
Single Arm Burpee: Left arm.
-
Single Arm Burpee: Right arm.
-
Spider Burpee.
-
High Knee Burpee.
-
Mountain Climber Burpee.
-
Breakdance Merkin Burpee.
-
Hand Release Burpee.
-
Skater Hop Burpee.
-
Broad Jump Burpee.
Somewhere around round three, the scientific community (otherwise known as the PAX) began openly challenging YHC’s methodology.
“What exactly are we testing here?”
“What’s the hypothesis?”
“What’s the POINT?”
Excellent questions, gentlemen.
Unfortunately, YHC was too busy conducting research to answer them.
The mumble chatter intensified as the PAX discovered that doing DIFFERENT burpees was somehow WORSE than doing the SAME burpee.
RESULT: Different exercises. Same suffering.
HYPOTHESIS CONFIRMED.
Apparently, insanity works BOTH ways!
🔥 MAR-SANIT-Y (INSANE MARY)
Because apparently 30 minutes of burpees wasn’t sufficient evidence to have YHC committed.
-
25 LBCs IC
-
25 Low Flutters IC
-
25 Penguin Crunches IC
RECOVER!
The experiment was officially concluded before anyone could contact the authorities.
🗣️ COT
Namarama: 11 HIMs survived to tell the tale.
Announcements: Celebration of YHC’s goal completion is five Qs in four days.
One down. FOUR MORE Qs IN THREE DAYS!
Next up: IPC @ DISTILLERY TOMORROW!
Prayer Requests:
-
Nutcracker’s brother, currently deployed overseas. Prayers for his safety and a speedy return home.
-
Superfly’s good friends, who recently experienced a death in the family.
-
Silverfox, for healing and recovery from his injury, as requested by Subfloor.
✝️ THIRD F: THE REAL DEFINITION OF INSANITY
As ridiculous as today’s workout was, there’s a serious spiritual lesson behind the definition of insanity.
Think about our sin.
How often do we commit the same sins over and over again, somehow expecting a different outcome?
We convince ourselves that THIS time will be different. That THIS time there won’t be consequences.
Yet sin always carries consequences.
But here’s the GOOD NEWS.
God knew we couldn’t break that cycle on our own.
So He did something we could never do for ourselves.
He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to take the punishment and consequences of our sin upon Himself.
Through His sacrifice, death, and resurrection, we have the opportunity to break free from that cycle and receive the gift of eternal life through faith in Him.
Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
We don’t have to keep repeating the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome.
We have a Savior who offers us something entirely different.
BREAK THE CYCLE. TRUST CHRIST. LIVE DIFFERENTLY.
YHC took us out in prayer.
📝 NMM — NOT SO MOLESKIN: THE INSANITY WARD
Every scientific experiment needs test subjects. Unfortunately, YHC’s research budget only allowed for 10 volunteers, none of whom apparently read the consent form.
A few observations from today’s clinical trials…
🥶 ZIMA — MURPH? or NO MURPH?
This guy is FREAKIN’ AWESOME! Always ready for an EC Murph. In fact, Zima tried recruiting YHC for one THIS MORNING. Brother, YHC did one yesterday and was smoked from it!
And you can ALWAYS count on Zima for quality mumble chatter, especially when YHC’s playlist sounds like a 1990s time capsule collided with a Dropkick Murphys concert.
Sorry, brother. Some of us peaked musically in the ’90s, and we’re not apologizing for it!
🍺 SCHLITZ — THE RETURN OF THE HC
To Rollback’s surprise, Schlitz actually HC’d for this morning’s festivities! His first HC in ages, and what a glorious mistake it was.
His post-beatdown review deserves five stars:
“I appreciate being able to do my least favorite exercise and all 700 variations of it in the rain with my first HC in ages. #love”
You’re welcome, brother. YHC prides himself on customer satisfaction.
Seriously, LOVE seeing this HIM out! Always smiling, always ready with sarcasm, and apparently capable of turning a beatdown into a 2nd F social event.
👖 SUBFLOOR — THE PANTS POLICE
Subfloor strongly encouraged YHC to wear pants to this morning’s beatdown.
First of all, SIR, this is a FREE men’s workout group. We don’t have a dress code, and YHC doesn’t appreciate your attempts to impose one.
Second, YHC would like to clarify that he has ALWAYS worn pants when appropriate. Shorts are simply pants that haven’t achieved their full potential.
Nevertheless, YHC obliged. Just for you, Subfloor.
Nothing says INSANITY quite like 30 minutes of burpees in the pouring rain while wearing pants because another grown man requested it…and by the end most of the PAX were coveting the pants and the hoodie that YHC finally made a good decision about!
Next week, perhaps we can coordinate outfits, hold hands, and skip through the parking lot.
👴 DRAMA QUEEN — THE DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS
Wise beyond his years.
Before YHC could even begin the experiment, Drama Queen informed him that the workout wasn’t EMOM. It was Tabata-style interval training.
THANK YOU for the correction!
Apparently, the only thing more insane than the workout was YHC’s inability to identify his own workout format.
And let’s acknowledge the REAL insanity here: Drama Queen voluntarily continues to associate with the rest of us F3ers who desperately need your wisdom!
We appreciate your wisdom, patience, and willingness to supervise the children, brother!
⭐ STARFISH — THE INCOMPLETE DATA SET
Starfish showed up late, immediately compromising the integrity of YHC’s scientific experiment.
Unfortunately, his results cannot be included in the final research paper because he missed part of the control group.
However, we already know one thing about this HIM: HE’S INSANELY FAST!
YHC suspects he could have completed the entire workout, run home, showered, and returned before the rest of us finished our final Broad Jump Burpees.
Always love seeing you out, brother. Even when you contaminate the data!
🪰 SUPERFLY — THE FACT-CHECKER
Much respect for this HIM, who IMMEDIATELY challenged YHC’s attribution of the definition of insanity to Albert Einstein.
Apparently, Superfly expected YHC to provide peer-reviewed academic research before administering 30 minutes of burpees.
SIR, IT’S 0530. IT’S RAINING. AND WE’RE DOING BURPEES.
We’re lucky YHC remembered the speaker, much less the historical accuracy of a quotation!
But Superfly raises a legitimate question: WHO ACTUALLY SAID IT?
Research pending. ***Results below.***
Always great seeing you out, brother. Keep challenging the science!
🦆 RUBBER DUCKY — THE AQUATIC SPECIALIST
Rain? Burpees? Puddles?
RUBBER DUCKY WAS IN HIS ELEMENT!
As a former rower, this HIM apparently sees precipitation as an invitation rather than an inconvenience.
While everyone else was questioning their decision to get out of bed, and question the Q decisions, Rubber Ducky was probably wondering why we weren’t doing the workout IN the puddles.
Brother, you absolutely brought the effort today. Thanks for coming out and supporting YHC’s ridiculous experiment!
🔄 ROLLBACK — THE BURPEE KING
Our fearless Site Q, who completed 50,000 BURPEES last year.
FIFTY. THOUSAND.
And he STILL HC’d for a workout consisting entirely of burpees (although he didn’t know it was coming).
Gentlemen, we may have finally identified Patient Zero.
YHC suspects Rollback completed more burpees than anyone else this morning, probably while secretly wishing we’d added another 15 minutes.
Insanity doesn’t just run in this man’s veins.
IT DOES BURPEES IN THEM.
Appreciate you, brother, and thanks for keeping Mayhem rolling!
🧠 HUGO — THE CONTROL GROUP
YHC always LOVES seeing Hugo out in the gloom. But today was particularly special because YHC had the opportunity to lead him through one of the most ridiculous beatdowns imaginable.
Throughout the workout, YHC kept studying Hugo’s facial expressions, attempting to determine what was going through his mind.
And YHC is fairly certain it was:
“These people need professional help.”
Of all the HIMs who regularly participate in this thing we call F3, Hugo might actually be one of the few SANE ones.
Which raises an important scientific question:
WHY DOES HE KEEP SHOWING UP?
Brother, always a pleasure having you out. Thanks for tolerating our nonsense!
🥜 NUTCRACKER — THE STRESS TEST
YHC believes this was his first time meeting Nutcracker.
And what an introduction!
Thirty minutes of burpees…half of them in the pouring rain.
They say pressure makes diamonds. Apparently, at Mayhem, pressure CRACKS NUTS!
YHC sincerely hopes the name Nutcracker refers to your ability to handle difficult situations and NOT to anything that happened during those Single Leg Burpees.
Either way, brother, you survived your introduction to YHC’s particular brand of stupidity! Pleasure to meet you!!!
Really enjoyed having you out, and we’ll absolutely be keeping your brother in our prayers while he’s deployed overseas.
Welcome to the insanity!
🔬 SCIENTIFIC UPDATE: SUPERFLY WAS RIGHT!
After further investigation, YHC must issue an official correction to today’s experiment.
ALBERT EINSTEIN NEVER SAID IT!
The earliest strong documented appearance of our famous insanity saying comes from an October 1981 newspaper report about an Al-Anon meeting. A similar version appeared in Narcotics Anonymous literature the following month. Its actual author remains unknown.
Which means Superfly was correct, Drama Queen was correct about Tabata, and YHC was wrong TWICE before breakfast.
FINAL SCIENTIFIC FINDING:
Never let facts interfere with a perfectly good beatdown.
And apparently, the REAL definition of insanity is allowing Head Hunter to Q five times in four days.
AYE!
🎶 FINAL OBSERVATIONS
The playlist was ABSOLUTE FIRE! 🔥
However, YHC committed ONE unforgivable scientific error.
How in the WORLD do you conduct an INSANITY beatdown and forget to include CYPRESS HILL?!
No Insane in the Brain?!
The experiment may need to be repeated due to this catastrophic oversight.
INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE! INSANE IN THE BRAIN! INSANE IN THE RAIN! 🌧️
11 HIMs. 30 minutes of burpees. Two experiments. One questionable Q.
FINAL CONCLUSION:
Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results might be insanity.
Doing different things repeatedly and expecting the same results might ALSO be insanity.
But showing up voluntarily at 0530 to do BOTH in the pouring rain?
THAT, GENTLEMEN, IS MAYHEM!
AYE! — HEAD HUNTER 💪
1 Comment
Starfish
#Cobains for being tardy today, but was seeking insanity not asylum as the first stop of the morning elected to opt for 2ndF coffeeteria vs. 1stF. Looks like YHC found exactly what he was looking for. That was some crazy stuff this morning, @Headhunter.
Add Comment