The Swing Set, Refurbished

The Swing Set, Refurbished

QIC: Zima

Date: 4/11/26

PAX: Cruiser, Sea-Man, Root Canal, Drip, Van Gogh, Battle Bot, Crash, Ziggy Stardust, Drano, The Worm (fng), Zima

WARMARAMA.

Time wasters … You didn’t come here to read about how we stretched.

BEATDOWN.

Set up:

– 13 stations in a straight line curve around the parking lot

– stations to the right of center are closer together than the ones on the left

Stations (from left to right):

6L: Elbow Spider Planks x 35

5L: Squat Thrusters x30

4L: Curl Presses x 25

3L: Lt.Dans x20

2L: Shoulder Tap Plank Jack Merkins x15

1L: Dying Cockroaches x10

Center: WMD Star Burpees x5

1R: Dying Cockroaches x10

2R: Shoulder Tap Plank Jack Merkins x15

3R: Lt. Dans x20

4R: Curl Presses x 25

5R: Squat Thrusters x30

6R: Elbow Spider Planks x 35

Execution (like a swingset, back-and-forth):

– always face the stations to the left

– when moving to the left stations from the center, run

– when returning to the center station from the left, backpedal

– when moving to the right stations from the center, crawl bear

– when returning to the center station from the right, bear crawl

Flow:

– start at the center station, then go to 1L, then back to center

– go to 1R, then back to center

– go to 1L, 2L, 1L, center

– go to 1R, 2R, 1R, center

– continue pattern through all stations

– last round: center, 1R, 2R, 3R, 4R, 5R, 6R, 5R, 4R, 3R, 2R, 1R, center

Orrrr, at least that was how the workout was supposed to go.

Everything broke down within 10 minutes. Either people were still cursing Head Hunter (in absentia) because of the Western Front beatdown yesterday, angry at Head Hunter (in absentia) for the Murph this morning, describing to the FNG that “nobody likes Zima” (I can only assume this comment was about the beverage, right?), discussing yesterday’s golf game and the advent of AI caddies (please note that YHC was NOT the one who initiated this conversation), lying motionless on the ground (was there an air raid drill?), skipping stations, ignoring the well-placed cinder blocks, declaring “yeah, that’s not going to happen” when discovering the next exercise, openly not doing a damn thing and standing around having a conversation, or performing complex mathematical algorithms to discern if finishing the beatdown in the allotted time was even humanly possible.

The Q even Omaha’ed half way through so the PAX could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Upon getting there, we immediately wanted to descend back into the darkness. Somewhere around round #3, the Q told the PAX that once they finished the current round to go all the way to the end and work their way backwards hitting every station. Did they listen? Of course not. That’s a stupid question. But at least they were close and we roughly moved as a group back to the beginning.

As we do in F3, everyone earned participation trophies. Isn’t that right, Rubber Ducky?

DONE.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

• Zima has The LaunchPad on Monday. We will not repeat this workout.
• If anyone is training for a race, Drano is looking for training partners. Get in contact with him.
• There is a bottle challenge at The Distillery.
• Cruiser has a Birthday Q at The Distillery on Thursday.
• There’s still an open spot for a MAYhem Q. See Rollback.

FNG:

Chris Richardson is Sea-Man’s neighbor. He sometimes goes by Creech (sp?). He’s a Marine, was in the Air National Guard, and works for the Department of Veterans Affairs in Winston. He rebounded well from a medical condition so we went down the naming path of basketball rebounders. From Sir Charles, the Round Mound of Rebound, to various monikers for Dennis Rodman, we finally landed on Rodman’s nickname, The Worm.

FROM CRUISER’S ADVANCED MAD MATHEMATICIAN LAB:

A completed workout would include finishing the following number of repetitions per exercise:

WMD Burpees: 65

Dying Cockroaches: 220

Shoulder Tap Plank Jack Merkins: 270

Lt. Dans: 280

Curl Presses: 250

Coupon Thrusters: 180

Elbow Spider Planks: 70

PRAYERS:

• Huckleberry’s leg and subsequently his M who will have to deal with his lazy ass for 6 weeks.

Zima Out.