The Artemis II Splashdown Beatdown

The Artemis II Splashdown Beatdown

QIC: Wobegon

Date: 4-10-26

PAX: Tammy, Burns, Spicoli, Mutton, Lambchop, Bootsie, Frostbite

What gave it away? The astronaut on my right calf? The full space sleeve? The nerd glasses? The Star Wars shirts? YHC digs space. The M and I have been geeking out on both the box office smash Project Hail Mary (amazae! amaze!) and the Artemis II mission the past few weeks. Seemed like the theme was just begging to happen at a beatdown. It went like this:

Warm-O-Rama

Side Straddle Space Hops, Whirly With The Cosmic Claps, Arm Spacey Things, Alternating Lunar Leg Lunges, Mr. Stretchy “Buzz” Stretch 

The Thang

The rocket has to push hard to escape Earth’s gravity. Best we could do is to ascend the parking deck.

Grab the flag, head to the parking deck.  All the way to the top, stop for 5 Moon Merkins and 5 Heels To The Stars at every turn. Pass off the flag at each stop.

At the top: flag planted, winke lit, and here we go, cadets: 

The A.R.T.E.M.I.S. Circuit

Round 1: 15 IC

Round 2: 10 OYO

Round 3: 5 OYO

• A – Apollo Ohnos 
• R – Ranger Merkins
• T – Toy Soldiers
• E – Everyone Run! (lap down and back)
• M – Mike Tysons
• I – Imperial Squat Walkers
• S – Scorpion Dry Dock

Next: We did not have the Flywheel Device, which is used to train Artemis II astronauts.  So we recreated with wall sits and 5 Head-Shoulders-Knees-and-Toes down the line.

Finally, we celebrated the trip around the dark side of the moon with a lap around the dark side of the…parking deck.

Back down: same way you came up with merkins, heels to heaven, and flag hand-offs.

Mary: The Splashdown 

As the Orion capsule hits the atmosphere, things get bumpy.

• Dying Cockroach x15 IC: Simulating the tumbling of the capsule, I guess?
• Flutter Kicks x15 IC: Treading water in the Pacific, perhaps?
• Then we finish Mary right on time with calls by committee. Good picks. 

And done.

COT:

• Check the new Smaritan Ministries channel for all the good we are doing there, and jump in.
• Spicoli needs Qs for Urban Assault, step up!
• Prayers for:
  • Praise for the space mission and the unifying effect it has had
  • Tammy’s M is expecting in the fall!
  • Aging parents and raising teenagers at the same time
  • Burn’s MIL is getting home from a bone marrow transplant soon. Praise!

Mumble chatter and friendly conversation were good. Topic included regrettable email addresses, space toilets, and a potential NASA contract for Sutton Bros. Jorts were mentioned at least twice, and there may be better “E” exercises out there, as it turns out. We got a sneaky 1.5 miles in, which is really pretty weak compared to the 252,756 the Artemis traveled. 

Love Urban Assault, and today’s group was one of the reasons why. Thanks for the keys, Spicoli. I left them in the lunar rover.