Workin’ in the Yard

QIC: Zima

Date: March 20, 2021

PAX: Crash, Workbench, Drip, Root Canal, Bullwinkle, Turnover, Palin, Subfloor, Code Red, Android, Zima

WARMUP.  

 

That’s not really important, but likely: SSH, IST, Michael Phelps, Whirlies, etc.

 

BEATDOWN.

 

Disclaimer: SPEED IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!  Let me repeat, SPEED IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.

 

Setup: 4 Cell Blocks plus a bonus Solitary Confinement area.  1 exercise at each Cell Block.

 

Cell Block A: Iron Mikes

Cell Block B: Curl Press Crushers

Cell Block C: Cherry Pie Death Crunches

Cell Block D: Mike Tysons

Solitary Confinement Area: Hand Release Overhead Clap Burpees x 5

 

Instructions: 

  • Each round (running around the “yard”) consists of a stop at all 4 Cell Blocks.
  • The number of reps at each Cell Block correlates to the round number (i.e. Round 1 = 1 rep, Round 2 = 2 reps, and so on).
  • Example: In Round 6, you will do 6 reps at Iron Mikes at Cell Block A, 6 reps of Curl Press Crushers at Cell Block B, 6 reps of Cherry Pie Death Crunches at Cell Block C, and then 6 reps of Mike Tysons at Cell Block D.
  • After finishing a round, immediately begin the next round.
  • When you hit failure on an exercise or lose the ability to perform it with PROPER form (sadly the actual Warden will not be in attendance to “helpfully” identify bad form so #YouDoYou), immediately stop and proceed to the designated SOLITARY CONFINEMENT AREA.  Once there, do 5 Hand Release Overhead Clap Burpees and return to the Cell Block that you left and finish out the set.
  • Move on to the next Cell Block.

 

Hint #1: Going fast with crappy form will only get your rep count higher and lead to quicker failure and more Burpees.  You might as well go at an exercise-appropriate pace and focus on the correct form.  #WardensInstructions

Hint #2: The first few rounds will be quite easy with minimal trips to Solitary.  During the later rounds, trips may occur so frequently that they may happen multiple times within the same Cell Block.  Boy Scout Motto: Be Prepared.

 

THE WARDEN IS OFF-SITE.  LET’S END THIS SILLINESS AND BREAK OUT OF THIS JOINT.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

  • @Palin talks a lot.

 

NAKED MAN MOLESKIN:

  • Many noises come out of @Palin’s mouth, but nobody really listens so if they’re actually worthwhile, we won’t really know.
  • Most people got somewhere between 14-17 rounds.  That’s a lot of good form reps.
  • There was a bit of confusion as to where the location of Solitary Confinement was.  However, it truly lived up to its name as more than one person chose to go to Solitary for some needed “alone time” or “peace and quiet”.  The extra distance some people ran might be directly correlated to the promise of solitude.
  • @RootCanal was #11.
  • EVERY SINGLE person who showed up today put in some serious work, but a tiny extra shout out goes to @Drip, @RootCanal, @Crash, @Workbench, @Bullwinkle, and @Turnover for the #DoubleDown.  In hindsight, there is a possibility that they just weren’t able to drive home after #Supermax.
  • Is it fair that @CodeRed has the Lord on his side?  He’s already in way better shape than the rest of us.  He doesn’t really need any more help.  I’m pretty sure he lapped me at least once.
  • Whether it’s 2 in a row or 16 in a row, Iron Mikes SUCK donkey balls.
  • Proper form has a different meaning to each different person.  But you know, #YouDoYou.
  • There was some truly awesome accountability on display.  A few times, I witnessed PAX finishing their sets and then sending themselves to Solitary for some burpee time because they didn’t think their own form was adequate.  I even saw a couple people leave the Cell Block with only one or two reps to go to head to Solitary rather than powering through with bad form.  #Accountability.  Others went because they can’t count on a Kindergarten level.  Good thing counting isn’t important in the medical profession.
  • There were some very helpful modifications for the next iteration of this workout (seriously).  Let’s think of this time as the prototype because a few of the guys want to do it again.

 

PRAYERS:

  • Lots, but none spoken.

 

Zima Out.

 

@Van Gogh, I left the keys over in the Discipline Center.  Yes, I do make myself laugh.