💼🔥 INSUFFICIENT “Workout In a Bag” 🔥💼

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💼🔥 INSUFFICIENT “Workout In a Bag” 🔥💼

QIC: Head Hunter

Date: 5/7/2026

PAX: @van.gogh, @Zima, @Zephyr, @Crash, @Head Hunter

5 HIMs showed up to WIB this morning expecting maybe a nice little Thursday tune-up.

Instead…they got trapped inside a rotating vortex of burpees, lunges, made-up core exercises, and pull-up misery with random runs sprinkled in because apparently YHC was either naive or ignorant to one tiny detail while planning:

👉 Running.

No worries.
@van.gogh made sure we corrected that oversight immediately.

🥵 Warmarama

  • SSH x21
  • Imperial Storm Troopers x21
  • Abe Vigoda x6
  • Whirly w/ Clap x11

Mosey to retrieve the sacred blocks, which we did not use very much…YHC just likes to get blocks 😂

🎒 THE THANG

Four Series of Focus:

  1. Burpees
  2. Lunges
  3. Core
  4. Pull-Ups

Simple enough.
Except it absolutely wasn’t.

☠️ BURPEE SERIES

  • Prisoner Burpees x20
    (special thanks to @Starfish for apparently hating humanity – @Head Hunter’s new favorite!!! 😈)
  • Burp-Ups x15
    (burpee directly into pull-up…because joy is temporary)
  • Standard Burpees x10
    (“easy” …nobody agreed)

At this point, lungs were in surrender mode.

Then from the darkness came the thundering voice of @van.gogh:

“Where’s the running?”

Ah yes.
Excellent point.

So naturally:
🏃 Run to the parking lot barrier and back.

Thanks @van.gogh

🦵 LUNGE SERIES

YHC decided to take it easy on @Zima since we did a tremendous Leg series on Tuesday at Parliament!

  • Left Leg ISO Hold – 1:00
  • Bonnie Blairs x20
  • Right Leg ISO Hold – 1:00
  • Bonnie Blairs x20
  • Left Leg ISO Hold – :30
  • Bonnie Blairs x10
  • Other Leg ISO Hold – :30
  • Bonnie Blairs x10

Meanwhile, Crash decided anatomy was optional and started on the opposite leg just to create chaos.

Maybe YHC should’ve thought a little more about being liked at this point because @Zima says “I really like this playlist” and YHC responded, “Glad you like me now.” @Zima…”I didn’t say that…I said I like your playlist. Don’t be putting words in my mouth”

Naturally…

🏃 Run to the parking lot barrier and back.

💀 CORE SERIES

Possibly the first documented appearance of exercises nobody asked for:

“Gas Hammers”

Gas Pump into American Hammer with the block. Finally decided to use these precious things!

Misery isn’t innovative enough.

“Dead Halos”

Deadlift into Halo rotations with the block.

  • Gas Hammers x10
  • Dead Halos x10
  • Gas Hammers x5
  • Dead Halos x5

At this point, abs, shoulders, and dignity were all under attack simultaneously.

YHC actually didn’t call a 3rd exercise (“Toes to the bar”) because, well, after that mercy was more important than misery.

And…obviously…

🏃 Run again. (Thanks again @van.gogh)

🧗 PULL-UP SERIES

  • Pull-Ups x10
  • Chin-Ups x10
  • Negative Pull-Ups x10
    (5-second descents…or at least emotionally-supported attempts at 5 seconds)

YHC was THIS close to calling:

“Blocks away!”

But then…

Van Gogh, once again choosing violence:

“What’s next…5 of those?”

And before anyone could object:

  • Pull-Ups x5
  • Chin-Ups x5
  • Negatives x5

At this point Zima delivered the universally accepted reaction of:

“WHAT THE FREAK?!”

Blocks away.
Final run back to start.
Finished.

Somehow alive.

🙏 COT

Announcements

  • ROC 5K this Saturday
    Park behind River Oaks Community Church near the pull-up bars.
  • Any additional announcements were likely erased from memory due to oxygen deprivation.

🙏 Prayer Requests

  • Drip – eye surgery today
  • Rollback’s M
  • Spamalot – back surgery next week
  • Atrophy / Glen Phares’s M
  • Unnamed HIM navigating marital stress
  • AP Exams:
    • Van Gogh’s daughter
    • Head Hunter’s boys

📝 NMM

Zephyr

Awesome getting to know this HIM better. Iowa native, been posting since last April, and absolutely crushed the burpee series. Got some solid pull-up work in too. Yesterday at Mayhem he wisely told YHC:

“Don’t overthink it.”

In hindsight…perhaps YHC should’ve thought just a LITTLE more about including running beforehand.

Thanks again for the WIB keys today. Also, YHC refuses to believe you’re a failure as Site Q…even if Zima may disagree.

Crash

Absolutely attacked those negative pull-ups.

Also seemed mildly disappointed YHC never provided the routing and account numbers needed for his apparent offshore Bahamas operation. Thankfully he still made it on time all the way from Nassau, Bahamas overnight and put in the work.

@Crash was probably thinking about flipping off @Zima for weirdly admiring his physique and appealing to @Zephyr that there’s hope for him yet.

Of course, conversation got weird when we all asked “Where’s @Rubber Ducky and his boner pants?”

Zima

This HIM is officially part machine. Double, Double Murph week. @Zima thought to push the pace on the first mile to 8:15…wait or maybe that was YHC pushing the pace…still can’t figure out who was pushing who. The debate will continue!

All YHC knows is that on Mile 2, YHC got publicly called out for lagging and had to hit a full sprint finish just to avoid shame.

Also, today was merciful because somehow we avoided 50 squats as opposed to Tuesday’s beatdown at Parliament. #You’reWelcome

After these beatdowns, Zima is fully prepared to suit up for the Thunderbirds next season.

Van Gogh

Always great having this HIM out there. HC’d the EC Murph and absolutely crushed it…although he didn’t do the last set of pull-ups, due to the preemptive call for pull ups during the beatdown. It was like he knew YHC’s plan beforehand

Psychic? Possibly.

Intuitive? Definitely!

Also absolutely loves volunteering additional extra rounds for the group. Real team player behavior right there.

We came for a “Workout In a Bag.”

What we got was:

  • leg tremors
  • pull-up regret
  • unexpected running
  • invented exercises
  • emotional damage

Outstanding work this morning, men.
Now go dominate the day. 💪

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