Tax Season, Tax Break, and How to Kill Both

Tax Season, Tax Break, and How to Kill Both

QIC: Frostbite

Date: 01/29/2026

PAX: @Zephyr (WD!), @Rollback, @Lambchop, @BrownBag, @Tax Break, @Frostbite (QIC, YHC, WB)

“In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes” – Benjamin Franklin

Good thing @Tax Break (TB) has joined our ranks to help us with our taxes! Oh, wait – he is not even a CPA! @TB joined the #DashPAX sometime early this summer from the motherland aka #Charlotte. One AM after most likely shitting in the woods during a run on a particular Sunday morning, YHC hopped out of his car and got catcalled:

“Hey, do you do F3?”

“Uh…maybe? Depends on who is asking”

“Oh nice…”

“Do you know about it?”

“Yeah, I did it in CLT”

“Uh oh”

One could guess who is who in this exchange. Turns out @TB moved in up the road from YHC and likes to keep tabs on YHC. YHC continued telling @TB about F3WS and how we do things here in the north and brag about being the Nantan.

@TB was not impressed. He follows up with the great workouts of F3 CLT and all the black diamond beatdowns he used to lead – which basically are workouts that do not adhere to the “Leave No Man Behind” credo.

“Oh so you’re a dick?” – @Frostbite

“He’s not that intense” – @TB’s lovely M, Madi

Anyways, we exchanged numbers and YHC kept it cordial. YHC invites @TB out to some workouts. @TB kindly declines as he is training for the Chicago Marathon. Totally not a dick.

@TB eventually shows up to a #Redline and quickly outpaces the #Fastholes and laps all of us.

@TB and YHCs relationship develops over time and we start to clowncar to some workouts. @TB reminisces on the good ole days of his time in CLT. He even sends me some vulgar backblasts written by a certain @Cindy. It’s almost like he has FOMO and is secretly a spy planted by “The Darkest of Helmets” (Nation’s Nantan whom gave himself that moniker.)

YHC starts to feel the pressure… are the #DashPAX doing things right? By that, YHC means adhering to the 5 core principals, mission statement, and credo. One could argue that many regions who have #OTB, #BlackDiamonds, #Rankings, or whatever system that measures the testosterone of the #PAX really does not, but I digress.

@TB avoids all of my workouts for one reason or another but does begin to venture out to some bootcamps. He starts to Q some at #HighLife and #OGs (which he provides a route on some other platform than MapMyRun and takes us to places YHC has never been in his 20 year residency of WS). Who the hell does this guy think he is?

Anyways (again) – bare with me, YHC will get to the workout piece. @TB boldly posts a preblast for yesterday’s #Conspiracy. My group chat starts to pop off asking if it was serious given the conditions of the roads surrounding Hanes Park. YHC even gets a text from @TB asking if I wanted to “conspire” with him. YHC ignores. Turns out @TB did not want to conspire either as he did not show up. Jury is still out if anyone else showed up.

YHC sees an HC from @TB for this morning’s workout. I would hope so as it is 0.1 miles from @TB and YHC’s house.

It was YHC’s first workout in a week and with less-than ideal conditions, YHC decided to keep it close to home at #FoodLion on Hawthorne. I pull into the parking lot and see @Brownbag, @Rollback, @Lambchop but not sign of @Tax Break. @Zephyr joins in just in time. We start #Warmarama and still no sign of @TB.

Oh I can’t wait to give him hell.

Out of the corner of my eye after some #IST’s, there is a guy jogging down Hawthorne! Surely this is @TB! It is.

But given he was late to a workout in his backyard practically, YHC declares we should do 1 burpee. Then, YHC declares we should do 1 burpee for his missed Q.

@TB blames the neighbors (aka me) for not shoveling the ice and that is why he was tardy. Hm. Good accountability! Maybe the #QueenCity guys aren’t that intense, after all.

We finish #Warmarama and get things going and here is how it went:

Line up at one end of the parking lot:

5 Merkins

10 Carolina Dry Docks

15 Jump Squats

20 Monkey Humpers

Suicide run to other end of parking lot. As you make the turn at the final line, do 1 Burpee.

Rinse and Repeato adding 1 rep where the set of exercises were, and 2 reps at the burpee line.

It was simple. It was boring. It was hard.

After the 2nd round, cries begin. Yes, from @Lambchop, but also @Tax Break! What happened to your #BlackDiamond Status?!

“Just to be clear – this is all we are doing?” – @TB

“Yes” – @YHC

“…” – @TB

The crew of men went up to the point of

12 merkins

17 CDDs

22 Jump Squats

27 Monkey Humpers

and 13 burpees

We decided to then decrease by 1 rep and 2 burpees respectively.

@TB shouts that he is smoked and that YHC got him this time. @TB was the 6 for most of the workout (joined by me, I humbly admit).

6 MOM of various exercises.

TIME!

Well wouldya lookie here, @YHC broke @Tax Break!

YHC was not successful in breaking the other #PAX as all guys got their money’s worth.

@Rollback was in the lead the whole time with @LambChop on his tail even when @Rollback called him out for missing reps.

@Zephyr shed a layer! Success in my book. He also looks good driving a minivan.

@BrownBag joined YHC in driving to the workout even when he also lives 0.1 miles away. Unlike @TB, we don’t shame our neighbors or city for not clearing the roads on time.

We, everyone except @LambChop (he left early), were treated to the tantalizing smell of bacon. Debate started if it came from Cafe Arthurs or PBs. Either way, it shows the freshness of the bacon many people enjoy. Maybe its tomorrow’s batch.

Hey, @TB, does this backblast meet your standards?

Announcements:

Beverly’s run for HOPE is next Saturday, February 7th.

Prayers:

@Brownbag and his M as they grieve a loss of a pregnancy

@Greenspan and his 2.3 as she fell on the ice and hurt her arm

City has started to ration their salt…

YHC took us out thanking the skyQ for safety and opportunity to exercise our minds and bodies. Requested that we would all feel his arms wrapped around us and seek him for comfort.

All the love, I mean it,

Frostbite