🤡 VILLAGE IDIOCY BACKBLAST 🤡
QIC: Head Hunter
Date: August 24, 2026
PAX: Slowpitch, Singing Cowboy, Van Gogh, Ziggy Stardust, Ziffel, I-Beam, Dr. Toot, Head Hunter
YHC decided to follow the time-tested K.I.S.S. principle — Keep It Simple, Stupid.
And since we were at an AO called Village Idiocy, emphasis was placed heavily on the STUPID portion.
The plan was simple: 25 of everything.
Van Gogh immediately pointed out that today was the 24th, not the 25th, and therefore none of this made sense.
Exactly.
Nice try bringing logic to Village Idiocy, Van Gogh. That was your first mistake.
WARMARAMA
25 SSH
25 Imperial Storm Troopers
25 Whirly With a Clap
At this point everyone was still relatively happy.
That would soon change.
Mosey to the parking lot.
THE THANG
ROUND 1 — “This Isn’t So Bad”
Run 200m
25 Breakdance Merkins
Run 200m
25 Jump Squats
Run 200m
25 Burpees
Run 200m
25 V-Ups
Repeat.
We completed Round 1 twice.
Then YHC unveiled Round 2.
This is approximately when trust within the PAX began to deteriorate.
ROUND 2 — “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”
Bear Crawl 200m
25 Breakdance Merkins
Bear Crawl 200m
25 Jump Squats
Bear Crawl 200m
25 Burpees
Bear Crawl 200m
25 V-Ups
Repeat.
Yes.
200-meter bear crawls.
Multiple times.
There were several legitimate “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” moments.
Yes.
YHC was serious.
Was it intelligent?
Absolutely not.
We nearly made it through Round 2 twice, finally running out of time at the Jump Squats.
Somewhere during all this stupidity, a vehicle drove past and someone yelled out the window:
“LOOK AT THOSE IDIOTS!”
Possibly another F3 PAX.
Possibly just an observant citizen.
Either way, Village Idiocy officially achieved its mission.
MARY
Hold 6″ — 25 count IC
Flutter Kicks — 25 count IC
Because apparently we hadn’t learned anything about the number 25.
NMM
Van Gogh — Absolutely took charge and crushed the workout. He continued to have concerns about the mathematical validity of using 25 on August 24th. His complaint has been forwarded to the Village Idiocy Department of Mathematics, where it will be promptly ignored.
I-Beam — Earned the Hardest Worker Award. After COT, he politely suggested that next time YHC consider numbers like 5 or perhaps no more than 10.
Your feedback is important to us.
It has been denied.
Ziffel — At some point began full-fledged yelling at YHC like YHC was crazy.
The irony of a grown man bear crawling across a parking lot while screaming at another grown man about his sanity apparently escaped him.
At the end, Ziffel summed up our relationship beautifully:
“I love you, Head Hunter…but I hate you, Head Hunter.”
That’s going on the Q résumé.
Singing Cowboy & Slow Pitch — Decided that before attending a workout called Village Idiocy, they should knock out a 2.5-mile EC run.
Given what followed, this decision is currently under investigation.
Ziggy Stardust — Getting ready to head to DC for a semester and absolutely worked his tail off today. Unlike Ziffel, Ziggy did not physically yell at YHC.
But based on facial expressions, there was almost certainly some very aggressive internal dialogue happening.
Go crush it in DC, brother!
Dr. Toot — Told YHC he came out specifically to support me.
What a guy.
If Dr. Toot ever runs for President, he has YHC’s vote.
He’s either genuinely one of the best dudes around…
…or exceptionally good at politics.
Either way:
TOOT 2028 🇺🇸
COT
Announcements:
Ziggy Stardust has the Q tomorrow at Parliament.
Head Hunter has the Q Thursday at WIB.
Apparently today’s events have not resulted in YHC’s Q privileges being revoked.
Yet.
Prayer Requests:
Aging parents.
Kids heading back to school.
All the things we’re carrying that aren’t always visible in the gloom.
YHC took us out.
FINAL TALLY
Lots of running.
An irresponsible amount of bear crawling.
A whole lot of 25s.
Several accusations regarding YHC’s mental stability.
One drive-by confirmation that we are, in fact, idiots.
K.I.S.S. — Keep It Simple, Stupid.
We kept it simple.
We definitely kept it stupid.
And for one glorious morning…
Village Idiocy lived up to its name.
SYITG. 👊
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