The Reset: 2026
QIC: Madoff
Date: 1/1/2026
PAX: Ziggy Stardust, Tonka, Blind Date, Drip
New Year’s Day didn’t come with fireworks — it came with 26s. It’s like 11s … but more … much more.
The PAX circled up for a brief (cough) warmup and onto the Thang, where they quickly learned this wasn’t a standard ladder. Instead, we stepped into the misery of 25–1, 24–2, 23–3 … all the way down to 1–25, a grind that rewarded patience, math skills, and grit. The work was broken into five segments, each one changing just enough to keep bodies guessing and minds engaged.
For the 25-1 … 21- 5 portion, we did merkins and jump squats, easing no one into anything. As the reps descended and ascended, legs and chests started questioning life choices. The second segment doubled down on leg burn with jump squats paired with rows, proving early that nothing about this workout was going to be balanced.
Just when arms were smoked, we shifted again — rows to high knees, forcing tired upper bodies to stabilize while heart rates spiked. Then it was high knees and shoulder press, where lungs and shoulders negotiated terms of surrender that were immediately rejected. The final stretch brought it home with shoulder press and Bonnie Blairs, a closing act that demanded full commitment after everything else had already been taken.
By the time the last rep was counted, the PAX had pushed through 650+ total reps, not including the bonus curl reps that showed up like an unexpected tax bill — painful, unavoidable, and ultimately good for us.
We finished emptied but upright, reminded that the new year doesn’t start with resolutions — it starts with work. The Reset wasn’t symbolic. It was earned. And every man walked away better for it.
After a failed attempt at Biscuitville (opened later today), all 5 PAX converged at Starbucks for some coffeeteria. Aye!
