“The Thrusters are the Rest Part”
QIC: Tonka
Date: 08.08.2025
PAX: Ziggy Stardust, Ratchet, Tonka (QIC)
YHC dialed up a mashup of a Van Gogh/IPC style beatdown for this week’s Rural Assault. That doesn’t read well. It didn’t read well beforehand either. The reader can tell I didn’t phone a friend before this attempt.
Before you lose all faith in YHC’s decision making abilities, please consider how the 22s model to checks some important boxes:
√ Simple
√ Miserable
√ Finishable
Now, here’s how it went down.
YHC and Ziggy Stardust arrive at 0525 still intently discussing whether water was indeed falling from the sky or not. We opted to consult the weather forecast on Ziggy’s phone to settle the confusion. We forgot to do so, so it’s hard to confirm what the weather was this morning with any certainty.
Ratchet pulls in and we have a strong trifecta of PAX.
MS/5CP/D
WRM
SSH
AV
Whirly
Arm Swirly Things FWD/REV
THANG
Mosey to the rocks and select your equipment.
As mentioned before, 22s is the format. The PAX were instructed to line up in the parking lot with an island spaced 15yd away. Perform 20 reps of exercise 1 where we stand. Bear crawl to the island. Perform 2 reps exercise 2. Lunge walk back. Repeato, ascending and descending by 2 reps appropriately.
- Exercise 1: Thruster
- MOT: Bear Crawl
- Exercise 2: Perfect Merkin
- MOT: Lunge Walk
- Refer to Step 1
Once complete, throw the rocks on the pile and mosey back to launch for 6MOM.
MARY
Various exercises including:
Box Cutters
Mutton Crunches
Penguin Crunches
LBC
Planks
Pickle Pounders
COT
No Announcements or Prayer Requests stated.
YHC took us out thanking the Lord for the men present.
NMM
It was indeed raining. Again.
Ratchet was confused by the offer for gloves. He said, “we never used those” in his former region. This is the point I knew he was a #BEAST
Ziggy Stardust lead the pack the whole time. He had that “been cooped up in a friggin car for 12 hours” energy. He could have used YHC as a coupon this morning.
The Q didn’t hear so much as a wince from him besides a chuckle or two when YHC lamented my choices with the occasional, “This sucks!”
Green Acres is getting another shoutout in my BB because Rural Assault has a rock with an uncanny resemblance to his old NC rock from the rock quarry. YHC uses it every time in his honor. He must post to see what all the fuss is about.
The words, “the thrusters are the rest part” came out of YHC’s mouth. Yes, the universe quaked at the phrase and never shall it be said again.
Ratchet said he had some buddies that quailed at the 0530 start time. The man still showed up solo ready to work. The old adage, “lion’s don’t bother themselves with the thoughts of sheep” comes to mind.
Ziggy Stardust provided the tunes again with his ’95 playlist. Little did he know he was in the company of two citizens of the “gangster’s paradise” birthyear.
It has been said that 1995 is the year that both ruined and saved the world. Not sure if it had to do with Ratchet’s and my entrance on the scene or with the commercialization of the internet to the public. You decide.
Thanks for the keys, Transcript!
Great time with great gents this morning. Thanks for letting me lead.
Tonka
