The Rhody: Thunder and Lightning

The Rhody: Thunder and Lightning

QIC: Zima

Date: 5/21/25

PAX: Van Gogh (HBD), Root Canal, Drip, Tweety Bird, Crash, Blind Date, Workbench, Subfloor, Rollback, Zima

Another simple to execute beatdown, but inexplicably botched explanation by Zima.  The PAX eventually understood the workout though.  All was fine.

TIME WASTERS.

Heroes come already prepared.

BEATDOWN.

At Station #1 (Bottom of Hill to Somewhere)

• 11 Hand Release Top Clap Burpees
• Move to #2: Dog Crawl (81 count), then Sprint

At Station #2-#5

• Do at each stop:
  • 7 Drop Squat Curl Presses
  • 14 Dog Pee Merkins (SC)
  • 21 Happy Puppies (DC)
• Carry a rock while moving between stations #2→#3→#4→#5

At Station #5 (Top of Hill to Somewhere)

• Leave rock
• Fast mosey directly down to #2

Return Journey

• From #2 to #1: Dog Crawl (81 count), then Sprint
• At #1: 11 Hand Release Top Clap Burpees
• Move to #2: Dog Crawl (81 count), then Sprint
• Fast mosey directly up to #5
• Pick up rock and return down hill, stopping at all stations

Rinse and Repeat.

DONE.

HERO:

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.  With all due respect to Hodor, not all heroes wear capes (well, there was one time, but that was only because he was being a good sport with the kids).  My hero is my absolute, hands down, unrivaled best friend in the world.  He’s been an enormous part of my existence throughout his entire life and will forever be imprinted upon my soul.  He is the most loyal and loving companion who gives the sloppiest of kisses.  He never wishes to be without me and I reciprocate those feelings.  He is the one thing in life that refuses to leave me.  Our bond is steadfast.  When things go awry, Rhody is always ready to be by my side.  He is my one constant rock in a world of change.  He fills holes in my heart which no human can ever do.  He is forever and always happy to see me.  He is the greatest conversationalist.  He faithfully comforts me.  He checks in on me constantly, a furry shadow moving about the house.  He embodies his love language of physical touch, no matter how uncomfortably tight the shared space.  He proudly showcases his title of “greatest cuddler” to any willing participant.  He gently reminds me if I’ve mistakenly left the house without him.  He makes sure I get my exercise by taking me for walks every single day.  He not-so-silently tells me when it’s time for us to go to bed and even when it’s time to pick up the kids from school (how does he know??).  He valiantly protects the house from evil doorbell ringers, menacing Amazon or UPS (but not USPS) trucks, suspicious canine passerbys, and the nefarious wind.  Unlike other members of my family, he dutifully obeys my commands.  He has given me every last ounce of love his body could muster.  His presence is a gift.  His devotion is boundless.  His affection is everlasting.  He is a legend.  He is my true hero.  He will forever be my faithful puppy.

NMM:

• For those lucky ones among us who have felt the unwavering love of a pet, they understand.
• I do not usually get very emotional, especially in public.  I am a private person, an undersharer.  I prefer to keep my feelings neutral, private, and bottled up (yeah, I know; it’s super healthy).  The fact that I broke down this morning and exposed my vulnerability in front of the HIMs shows just how important this group truly is.
• The pounding rain, bright flashes of lightning, and earth-shattering thunder during the wee hours were a very appropriate lead up to the beatdown.  Who needs sleep anyway?
• Root Canal showed up with an umbrella.  That was dumb.  But the key phrase is SHOWED UP.
• When are we going to get the Huckleberry vs. Rollback burpee showdown?
• I probably ruined Van Gogh’s morning birthday, but I promise a more lively one next year.  Deal?
• So about the actual workout.  Why do I also seem to be the six when I am the Q?  Am I misreading the instructions?  What am I doing wrong that everyone else is doing right?  Am I really getting that slow in my old age?  The other PAX used the beast mode button this morning.  If it weren’t for the repetitive down-and-back nature of the workout, I would have never seen most of the guys after the start.
• If possible, stop reading this and go hug your heroes.
• Thank you to each of the HIMs who posted this morning and embarked on that heroic journey alongside me.  I am a better man for your fellowship.

BEATDOWN EXPLANATION

• The rock symbolized the omnipresence of my hero.  Whenever possible, he’s with me, so we carried our rock around all morning.  When he’s not there, I hurry (i.e. fast mosey) to get back to him.  The double meaning is that since he almost completely lost the use of his legs a few weeks ago, I’ve actually had to carry him everywhere.
• 11 burpees because Rhody is 11 years old.
• 81 dog crawls because Rhody is 81 in dog years – and then we sprinted because he loves to run.
• Drop Squat Curl Overhead Presses because I’ve had to pick him up and carry him around for weeks.
• Dog Pee Merkins because … obviously.
• Happy Puppies because when a puppy lays on his back and his belly is rubbed, his legs go wild.
• 7, 14, 21 because each human year equates to 7 dog years.
• We used the hill because one of Rhody’s favorite activities is hiking in the mountains.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

• Rollback has WIB on Thursday at the Lowes on Robinhood.
• Workbench has Alcatraz on Saturday.

PRAYERS:

• White Claw and Jolly Rancher as they process big emotions that they cannot yet fully comprehend.

Let us be the men that our dogs think we are.  Zima Out.