That Escalated Quickly

That Escalated Quickly

QIC: Zima

Date: 4/22/25

PAX: Van Gogh, Rubber Ducky, Drip, Cruiser, Rachael Ray, Lamb Chop, Rogaine (FNG), Zima

TIME WASTERS.

Sure, it’s Flatline so we’ll do a half Slaughter Starter – but only to get under VG’s skin.  But wait, where is VG going?  Why is he running away?  Apparently, he decided to chase down our FNG who was circling the perimeter of the parking lot looking like the Dark Knight on his Batcycle.  Flummoxed on how to enter the parking lot, he made his own way by hopping his bike over the curb.  So, being the benevolent Q that I am, we did the second half of the Slaughter Starter when VG returned, shortly followed by the FNG.

Now that we had an FNG present, YHC reached way down into his temporal lobe to attempt to recall the mission statement and five core principles, all while doing SSHs OYO.

BEATDOWN.

At this, the pack took off towards corner #1, the parking meter, much to the the chagrin of the startled man who was trying to pay his fee.  On the way, Mr. “always out front” Lamb Chop tried to ask that the group stay together.  Clearly he didn’t heed his own request as he led most of the way.  Anyway at this corner, we did 1 WMD.  Rachael Ray claims because he did a million pushups the night before that he was allowed to take creative liberties with the exercise.  That’s cool, dude.  Whatever.  And if I ever get suckered into that whole marriage thing again, I’m taking this whole group with me to the jewelry store.  Their freaking diamonds were huge!

Next we bear crawled in the direction of the Sawtooth Center half way to corner #2 (then moseyed the rest).  Here, we did 2 Bobby Hurleys.  All I’m saying is too bad Bobby Hurley didn’t play like that when he was in college.

The instructions were to sprint to Cindy Christopher at corner #3.  Clearly sprinting is not an old man’s game.  Note: I think we all need to hit up the OG Redline workouts more often and work on those fast twitch muscles.  The called exercise was 3 Dead Bugs.  Many variations were performed, clearly because modifications were medically needed.  I’m pretty sure McNeely pest control isn’t hiring any of us.

Heading to our last corner, we lunge walked (kinda) half way, then moseyed.  At corner #4, we found a collection of weighted toys (cinder blocks, a dumbbells, a sandbag, and a rucksack).  If no toy of a PAX’s liking was available, he was to burpees until one becomes available.  We did 4 reps of curls, overhead presses, and skull crushers each.

Finally we moseyed back to the center and burpee’d for the six.  Once the group was whole again, we restarted the circuit, incrementing our rep count (station 1: 5 reps, station 2: 6 reps, station 3: 7 reps, station 4: 8 reps).

We completed 6 full rounds.  Exercise form never suffered one iota.

MARY.

No time for that.

DONE.

NMM:

• Van Gogh, as usual, went into Beast Mode and would have been out front all morning, but as is typically the case, he had to chase down Lamb Chop.
• The Duck said Duck things.  The Duck went self-proclaimed Deadpool and gave #MaxEffort!
• Rachael Ray definitely brought some youthful energy.
• Drip brought some … hey, Drip was there.
• Our FNG, Rogaine, had no problem keeping up even though some a-hole Q didn’t explain anything – nothing about exercise names, not even how long the workout was.
• Cruiser is enjoying entering his fifth decade on the planet and realizing that certain parts of the body hurt a little more now.  I think the body forgot to tell the mind because nothing seemed to slow him down.
• Aren’t workouts always better when Lamb Chop shows up?  Go ahead, challenge that statement.
• With so many new PAX joining lately, I haven’t heard this much excitement about IronPAX in years.  I am almost giddy.  #TheMostWondrefulTimeOfTheYear

FNG:

• Rogaine (fka Michael Ferrari) works as a web designer at Wake Forest and hosts the #1 artificial intelligence podcast for major private liberal arts universities in Winston-Salem.  Other facts were given, but nobody else was even remotely creative.  Since JRE is the most listened to podcast on Spotify, Rogan was proposed, but it’s always better to keep going.  Rogan -> Rogaine.  Welcome Rogaine.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

• May 10: Triple Down = Supermax, Alcatraz, ROCC 5K.  For anyone who does all 3, VG will donate $30.

PRAYERS:

• VG’s MIL
• LC’s M
• LC’s sister’s family situation
• Unnamed PAX’s FIL

Zima Out.