Operation: Find the Missing Brain Cells

Operation: Find the Missing Brain Cells

QIC: Pony Express

Date: 04/26/2025

PAX: @Rachael Ray, @bam, @Starfish, @Lemming, @Superfly, @PonyExpress, @boomerang, @Splash, @Bluto, @D-Day, @Green Acres, @Linus, @BooBooBustAMove

Conditions:

Soggy like Starfish’s logic, cloudy like Lemming’s memory, and perfect for bad decisions.

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The Thang:
After a rousing 30 seconds of Starfish pretending he had a plan, the PAX embarked on an epic quest: save a single pathetic sapling that somehow survived near a wall of vines thicker than Pony Express’s high school mustache.

Under Superfly’s “expert” supervision (read: standing around looking jacked), and Boomerang’s constant need to “circle back” (aka getting lost 12 feet away), the team hacked, chopped, and grunted their way to uncover the world’s saddest tree.

Highlights:
• Boomerang got tangled in vines twice, proving once and for all that opposable thumbs are optional in Greensboro.
• Superfly completed more flexing than actual work.
• Pony Express asked no fewer than three times if there was a drive-thru.
• Lemming spent most of the time contemplating whether vines were edible (he’s still unsure).
• Starfish gave out terrible instructions, then acted shocked when it all went sideways.

Bonus:
At some point, someone (probably Boomerang) thought it was a good idea to climb the newly exposed twig, thus ensuring our insurance premiums stay high and our dignity stays low.

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Moleskine:
• Team photo features 12 dudes grinning like they just discovered fire… when really all they did was uncover a tree that looks like it’s already given up on life.
• Special shoutout to the mystery hand up in the air—someone’s either hailing an Uber or trying to signal an SOS.
• If this group ever stages a rescue mission, may God have mercy on whoever they’re rescuing.

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Announcements:
• Free brain cell donations accepted immediately.
• Pony Express is starting a new app called GrubRun — 5K to the closest Hardee’s.

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COT:
We prayed that next time, someone — anyone — would bring actual adult supervision.

SYITG,
Pony

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Would you like me to make an even more savage version too?
(Or a “nice-ish” one you could actually post without getting kicked out of your AO?)