Proofs — A backblast definitely written by a human
QIC: Cruiser
Date: 12/18/2025
PAX: Blind Date, Ziggy Stardust, Tonka, Drama Queen, Rubber Ducky, Adobe, Nelly
After accusations that an AI has been writing previous backblasts, I want to assure everyone this was written by a real human being with thumbs, emotions, and a questionable relationship with em dashes.
🥃 RISING PROOF — A Backblast About Growth, Burn, and Choosing to Be Here
AO: The Distillery
Date: December 18
Theme: Rising Proof
Weather: Cold — motivating — irrelevant
Mood: Reflective — strained — inspirational (somehow)
We began — as all meaningful journeys must — with the Mission and the Five Core Principles. Because before you raise the proof… you must raise the standard. 🧠✨
Also — because tradition matters — and someone has to say it out loud.
A Warmarama followed — joints warmed — muscles loosened — confidence inflated — a brief but necessary illusion. 🧘♂️🔥
This was the calm before the proof.
Then — we arrived at The Thang.
🥃 Rising Proof
Not just a workout — but a metaphor — a process — a reminder that nothing meaningful stays easy forever.
Each round lasted 8 minutes — because time expands under load.
Counting was minimized — because numbers distract from growth.
Proof increased — because life doesn’t stay at 80 forever. 🥃➡️🥃➡️🥃
As was said (and later regretted):
“The proof doesn’t rise — you do.
…and also your heart rate.”
🗂️ Rising Proof Breakdown (For Clarity™)
| Proof | Mode of Transportation | Exercise at Each End Line |
| 80 Proof | Mosey (Parking Lot Suicide) | 10 Squats (later Omaha’d to 10 total / 5 per side) |
| 100 Proof | Lunge Walk Down / Rifle Carry Back | 5 Block Swings at each end |
| 120 Proof | Murder Bunnies Down / Rifle Carry Back | 5 Thrusters at each end |
| 151 Proof | Bear Crawl Block Push / Rifle Carry Back | 5 Total Blockees (2 on one end, 3 on the other) |
📌Each set was a suicide format (1 space, 2 spaces, and so on)
📌Each proof level lasted 8 minutes.
📌 When the timer ended — the proof rose — whether you were ready or not.
🥃 80 Proof — Smooth
We moseyed — calmly — confidently — through parking lot suicides.
At each end line: squats.
Ten of them — until adaptability was introduced — via an Omaha audible — reducing the load to 10 total (5 per side). 🧠💡
This proof went down smooth — approachable — deceptive.
Much like motivation on a Monday morning.
“Smooth doesn’t mean easy — it just means you haven’t noticed yet.”
🥃 100 Proof — Noticeable
Transportation shifted — expectations shifted — legs filed a formal complaint. 🦵📄
A lunge walk down — block swings at each end — rifle carry back — symmetry optional — effort mandatory. 🪨🔥
Mumble chatter began — as it always does — when comfort quietly exits the chat. 💬🚪
“You don’t choose the proof — the proof chooses you.
Sometimes unfairly.”
Someone said, “This isn’t that bad.”
Growth immediately disagreed.
🥃 120 Proof — Lingering
Murder bunnies appeared — thrusters followed — breathing became louder — thoughts became shorter. 🐰😮💨
This proof didn’t rush — it stayed with you — like wisdom — or regret — or both.
Eye contact faded.
Silence increased.
The parking lot expanded.
“When the burn shows up — that’s when the work begins.
Or ends. It’s hard to tell.”
🥃 151 Proof — Truth
Bear crawl block pushes — blockees — uneven reps — because fairness is overrated. 🐻⬇️🪨
Complaints were voiced — loudly — passionately — creatively.
And yet — somehow — a few brave souls claimed to “prefer higher proofs.”
“The higher the proof — the quieter the excuses.
Mostly because no one can breathe.”
These statements were made — under fatigue — without counsel — and should not be cited in future discussions.
🥃 Final Reflections
Not every workout is about joy.
Some are about burn — presence — and learning that higher proof always costs more. 🔥🧠
“You don’t rise to the level of the proof — you sink to the level of your lung capacity.”
We showed up.
We stayed in it.
We raised the proof — together.
Same men — higher proof — no mixers — just truth. 🥃💪✨
