The Jerk Store called…..They’re running out of YOU!

The Jerk Store called…..They’re running out of YOU!

QIC: Turnover

Date: 11.12.25

PAX: @Tonka (WB) ; @Subfloor ; @Adobe ; @Cruiser ; @Rollback ; @VanGogh ; @Zima ; @DramaQueen (WD) ; @Ziffel ; @Zephyr ; @Beignet (FNG) ; @Turnover (Q)

YHC had to punt on Q duties at #Mayhem a few weeks ago, but fortunately got a chance to redeem myself and lead the fine #HIMs that posted this morning for a chilly midweek beatdown.

Knowing I had a Q coming up, I took the chance to EH a buddy of mine I’ve been working on for a while again. His response: “I’ll try to make it”. #suspenseful

A plan was put in place last night (despite some baseless accusations by a certain Site Q…..) with one objective: keep it moving! Let’s take a look at what went down:

YHC was running a little behind, but as fate would have it, I pulled into the parking lot and parked immediately next to………the FNG! Pleasantries were exchanged, nitrile gloves were lent, and we made our way over to a particularly salty bunch of PAX ready to get the warm up started.

**mean-spirited banter aimed at the Q commences**

Mission Statement, Core Principles, and Disclaimer were laid down and we were off.

Warm o Rama

SSH x30 IC

Toy Soldier x10 IC

**mean-spirited comments continue**

YHC, already agitated, scraps the rest of the warmup and calls for Burpees x10.

Warm up over. Mosey toward the shelter on the greenway/bike path for

The THANG

PAX were informed we’d be doing an Indian Run Peloton Run(?) where the PAX would begin running and the PAX at the back of the line would stop and perform 10 Burpees (#crowdpleaser) then run to the front of the line. This pattern would continue until all PAX had completed a set of burpees.

The wheels for this beatdown were already rattling and shaking and this was the point that they just plain fell off. The pace drastically fluctuated, PAX were cutting through the park to catch up to the Peloton (still not sure that’s the right term), mean-spirited MC continued to flow, and after 4(!!) full laps around the park, we finally hit our limit and decided to move on.

Mosey over to the rock pile at the base of the #HillToNowhere #HillToSomewhere.

PAX were instructed to grab a rock and partner up. Partner 1 would perform 10 Thrusters w/Rock. Partner 2 would perform Mountain Climbers (AMRAP). Once Partner 1 finished w/ the thrusters, switch it up. Partners followed this pattern until all PAX had completed 3 sets of 10 thrusters.

Put the rocks back and mosey to the shelter.

PAX setup at various tables to perform a series of exercises while 1-2 PAX would bear crawl around the shelter. Once the bear-crawlin’ PAX returned, we would shift over a table and the next PAX or PAX(es?) would begin their bear crawl.

The exercises performed at the various tables were as follows:

Table 1: Box Jumps

Table 2: Irkins

Table 3: Dips

Table 4: Dirkins

Table 5: WW2 (or MARY of choice)

Table 6: American Hammers (or MARY of choice)

After all PAX had completed two rounds of bear crawls, we moseyed back to launch for

MARY

Flight Attendants x20 IC

Freddie Mercury x20 IC

Mutton Crunch x10 each side IC

Low Plank Hold until time

Done.

CoT

Count o Rama –> Name o Rama –> then we got to name our FNG (more on that below).

Announcements: @DQ has the Q at WIB tomorrow, @Tonka has the Q at #Alcatraz on Saturday, Backyard Ultra at #TheSpeakeasy on November 23rd.

Prayer Requests: @Rollback’s M and her ongoing treatment for her shoulder ; @DQ lifted up our guy @Plunger and his family.

YHC took us out thanking him for the “friendships” that F3 provides and asking for resolve and discernment as we attack the day as men, husbands, and fathers.

NMM

First things first, welcome to former FNG @Beignet, heretofore known as Stephan Shipe. @Beignet has been @Fritter’s baseball coach for the past couple years and has become a good buddy of YHC’s. A former Wake Forest professor who now runs his own financial advisory shop, @Beignet is an avid runner and all around good dude. He also was sporting an Atlanta Braves hoodie today and this is where the naming of our FNG loosely began. Stand by for a stream of consciousness brain dump on how I think we arrived at his name: the Braves hoodie led us down a baseball rabbit hole…”Bobby Cox” was thrown out and quickly squashed because you guys are a bunch of sickos, @DQ brought up Lenny Dykstra who allegedly was involved in some shady financial dealings at one point, this led us to the mention of Bobby Bonilla and his financial “situation” involving the Mets. “Bonilla” didn’t quite have the ring we were all looking for, so we naturally began thinking of words similar to Bonilla…..Beignet was quickly arrived at and our FNG (finally, mercifully) received his name. @Beignet crushed it this morning, showing no signs of fatigue or strain. #Beast. Appreciate you coming out, buddy. Welcome @Beignet!!

Speaking of @Fritter, even though he #FartSacked this morning, today is my man’s 9th birthday. #ProudDad

Big congrats to @Drama Queen who apparently has reversed his aging by some 20 years, proudly announcing during Name o Rama that he was now (or again?) in his 40’s. And if you watched him dominate the beatdown the way he did today, this would not have been a surprise. What an animal.

@Subfloor and @Ziffel were at the top of the leaderboard when it came to zingers/one-liners AND cutting corners, this morning. Good work…I think?

@Zephyr had a kung fu grip on his usual role of Silent Assassin this morning. No fuss, just hard work.

@Tonka started the morning with a #veteran move and showed up only after we had knocked out our warm up burpees. He also may have been the only PAX to avoid completing the burpees during the Peloton run. #Savvy

@Rollback and @Zima apparently came to today’s beatdown straight from The Jerk Store. Hurling “good natured ribbing” in YHC’s direction from the moment I stepped into the circle. YHC’s attempt to punish them with burpees back-fired big time because these two nutjobs love burpees.

@Cruiser and @Adobe (who I’m still not convinced aren’t the same person) were as pleasant and jovial as ever, dominating the called exercises with ease, as is their custom. Strong work, boys.

@Van Gogh made light work of everything this morning, which was beneficial for YHC because that allowed him to have enough energy to provide the Q emotional support as I attempted to dodge the ire of @Rollback and @Zima. Unfortunately, @Van Gogh was not able to avoid the flaming arrows of these two troublemakers, at one point being accused of being a #SkinnyRunner. *shutters* #PottyMouths

Despite the trek through the #JudgementZone, YHC was honored to lead the assembled PAX this morning. Thanks to all who posted.

Thanks for the keys @Rollback. I think I probably dropped them on one of the Peloton laps.