{"id":7063,"date":"2018-11-29T21:55:02","date_gmt":"2018-11-30T01:55:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/?p=7063"},"modified":"2018-11-29T21:55:02","modified_gmt":"2018-11-30T01:55:02","slug":"prison-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/2018\/11\/prison-rules\/","title":{"rendered":"Prison Rules"},"content":{"rendered":"
Title: Prison Rules<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h6>\n
Date: 11\/29\/18<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h6>\n
Q: Zima<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h6>\n
PAX: Cherry Pie (beast mode), Thistle (ancient), Burns (baby face), Litterbox (not slow), Turnover (lucky), Dr. Toot Canal (too much self-administered novocaine), Van Gogh (ultra on your left), Mutton (robotic), Zima (Q for the day)<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h6>\n
_______________________________________________________________<\/span><\/h5>\n

Introduction.<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n

I have nothing to write here. \u00a0Nothing at all. Why are you reading this?<\/span><\/p>\n

Warm-o-rama.<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n

Peter Parkers, Whirly regained his clap after briefly being cured yesterday at Mayhem, Toy Soldiers, Exaggerated Seal Clap, SSH<\/span><\/p>\n

* all in absolute perfect cadence<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Beatdown.<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n
Station 1: Hand Release Merkins (25) and Heels to Heaven (25)<\/span><\/h6>\n

– \u201cWhy are we starting off with 25 HR Merkins??? \u00a0This will get easier, right?\u201d
\n<\/span>– \u201cYes Cherry Pie, straight legs on the H2H. \u00a0Ugh.\u201d
\n<\/span>– \u201cThis kind of makes me want to run up Buena Vista (a reference to the now legendary series of WIBs that have taken place on the BV hill).\u00a0 Uh, NO!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 2: Jump Squats (25) and WWIs (25)<\/span><\/h6>\n

– \u201cTo be considered a \u2018Jump\u2019 Squat, the feet actually need to leave the ground. \u00a0No, I\u2019m not exactly sure what exercise you\u2019re doing.\u201d
\n<\/span>– \u201cIt\u2019s DOCTOR Toot Canal to you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 3: Burpees (15) and Full Extension Crunches (35)<\/span><\/h6>\n

– \u201cDamn Burpees. \u00a0Why always Burpees?\u201d
\n<\/span>– \u201c35 Full Extension Crunches!?!?! \u00a0Seriously? F U CP for introducing these!\u201d
\n<\/span>– Note: The correct form on the aforementioned exercise is up for great interpretation.<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 4: Prisoner Get Ups (15) and Pickle Pounders (35)<\/span><\/h6>\n

– \u201cIs this the prison-themed station?\u201d
\n<\/span>– \u201cRoot Canal is very impressed that he can do Prison Get Ups.\u201d
\n<\/span>– \u201c35 Pickle Pounders is excessive, but your Ms will thank the Q later.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 5: Hand Release Mike Tysons (25) and Low Flutters (25)<\/span><\/h6>\n

– \u201cUm, how many Mike Tysons?\u201d
\n<\/span>– \u201cThat might be the worst thing I\u2019ve ever done.\u201d
\n<\/span>– \u201cInstead of Hand Release, if you want people to have better form, you might just want to decrease the number of reps. \u00a0Duh.\u201d
\n<\/span>– \u201cWho knew doing Low Flutters would be like a vacation?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 6: Mountain Climbers (25) and Box Cutters (25)<\/span><\/h6>\n

– \u201cMy Boxes look more like sagging O\u2019s.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 7: Farmer\u2019s Carry (50 lb, 40 lb, or 30 lb) and American Hammers (while waiting)<\/span><\/h6>\n

– \u201cTraining for the next Green Beret Challenge begins TODAY!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Out of Time.<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n

Deep Thoughts from the Q:<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n

– I cannot help it if the PAX cannot keep up with my cadence. \u00a0Step it up gentlemen. This is the big leagues.
\n<\/span>– Burns reminisced about his first F3 workout being a Zima-led beatdown. \u00a0Every other PAX questioned his sanity for returning to F3.
\n<\/span>– Thistle was super duper helpful post-workout as he carried a small piece of cardboard back to the Q\u2019s truck while two other PAX carried a combined 240 lbs in coupons. \u00a0Is that part of the Silver Sneakers weight training regimen?
\n<\/span>– Does Mutton ever get tired or sweat? \u00a0He just keeps going and going and going at the same steady pace, no matter what. \u00a0Machine-like. Almost robotic. Has anyone checked to see if he\u2019s actually an android? \u00a0Can we get one of the 1,294 doctors in F3WS to confirm that he\u2019s human.
\n<\/span>– And while one of those doctors are on call, can we look into reconnecting Thistle\u2019s mouth to the rest of his body? \u00a0How can a man talk so damn much while supposedly working \u201cso hard\u201d? We clearly need to elevate that heart rate.
\n<\/span>– The Burn Bootcamp (across from Calvary) might request a restraining order against a few of the creepy PAX who longed to workout inside of the warm gym with the young women.
\n<\/span>– I am proposing a name change for our favorite dentist friend – Dr. Toot Canal. \u00a0Just trust me on this one. And no, I didn\u2019t make it up.
\n<\/span>– Despite having a two month old baby, Turnover was nice and fresh this morning after his 14 hours of sleep last night. \u00a0According to him, he doesn\u2019t deserve his wife. There didn\u2019t seem to be any disagreement from the PAX.
\n<\/span>– The entire group chose to stay together this morning. \u00a0The Farmer\u2019s Carry had the opposite effect that the Q had hypothesized. \u00a0I thought the variable weights and American Hammers would create natural breaks in the group, but not so. \u00a0The group turned that idea on its head and mostly moved as a herd.
\n<\/span>– The group completed about 2.5 laps with a super strong finish on the Burpees!
\n<\/span>– Van Gogh was so bored and tired of waiting for everyone, he did an extra lap. \u00a0He probably also did 10 extra reps at each station.
\n<\/span>– The ever gentile Southern gentleman, Cherry Pie, kept his language towards the Q in check since being in a church parking lot technically counted as being at church.
\n<\/span>– There were one or two times where I noticed that Litterbox came from behind to pass me. \u00a0I was excited at the prospect that I had somehow gotten ahead of the little guy. But then I realized that he was probably just lapping me AGAIN.<\/span><\/p>\n

Announcements:<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n

– <\/span>Beer Run at the <\/span>West Salem Public House<\/span><\/a> (<\/span>GPS<\/span><\/a>) tomorrow at 5:30 pm. \u00a0Fokker\u2019s <\/span>tweet<\/span><\/a>. \u00a0Van Gogh\u2019s Millennial co-worker, who is \u201cpretty cool\u201d, loves going to the Public House. \u00a0That\u2019s a ringing endorsement if I\u2019ve ever heard one.
\n<\/span><\/span>– December 15: F3\/FiA Christmas party and 5 year F3 celebration. \u00a0Leave your kids at home. If you didn\u2019t get the email from Bluto, see Van Gogh because your email address is wrong on the website.
\n<\/span>– NO IS on Saturday. \u00a0Impossible Situation will converge with Purgatory or Dawg Pound because of the Mistletoe race. \u00a0Cherry Pie is an HC for Dawg Pound.<\/span><\/p>\n

Prayers:<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n

– Continue to pray for our devolving country. \u00a0Be beacons of light and love and compassion.
\n<\/span>– Season of Giving.<\/span><\/p>\n

Zima out.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Title: Prison Rules Date: 11\/29\/18 Q: Zima PAX: Cherry Pie (beast mode), Thistle (ancient), Burns (baby face), Litterbox (not slow), Turnover (lucky), Dr. Toot Canal (too much self-administered novocaine), Van Gogh (ultra on your left), Mutton (robotic), Zima (Q for the day) _______________________________________________________________ Introduction. I have nothing to write here. \u00a0Nothing at all. Why are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":{"q":"Zima","date":"11\/29\/18","pax":"Cherry Pie (beast mode), Thistle (ancient), Burns (baby face), Litterbox (not slow), Turnover (lucky), Dr. Toot Canal (too much self-administered novocaine), Van Gogh (ultra on your left), Mutton (robotic), Zima (Q for the day)"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/200"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7063"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7063\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7089,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7063\/revisions\/7089"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}