{"id":5017,"date":"2018-05-24T15:37:07","date_gmt":"2018-05-24T19:37:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/?p=5017"},"modified":"2018-05-24T15:37:07","modified_gmt":"2018-05-24T19:37:07","slug":"threes-a-crowd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/2018\/05\/threes-a-crowd\/","title":{"rendered":"Three’s a Crowd"},"content":{"rendered":"

Three’s a Crowd<\/span><\/h1>\n
The 24th of May in the year 2018<\/em><\/span><\/h5>\n

Those present included: His Highness, Duke Offsides IV; Lord Van Pelt, the Seventh of his name and Workout Daddy for the day; and a crappy failed 1990’s malternative beverage, Zima, the gullible Q and Workout Baby.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Our Story Begins …<\/b><\/h6>\n

It\u2019s all about location, gentlemen. \u00a0Just through the simple act of changing the launch point of this WIB as compared to my last WIB Q, I was able to increase the number of attending PAX by 100%. \u00a0That\u2019s pretty darn impressive.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Warm-o-rama.<\/b><\/h5>\n
    \n
  • Nah. \u00a0No time for that. \u00a0Let\u2019s just get this party started.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Beatdown.<\/b><\/h5>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Run up the hill to nowhere. \u00a0Do <\/span>Burpees<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n
    2. Run down the hill from nowhere to intersection and do <\/span>Heels to Heaven<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n
    3. Run to lamp post in parking lot and do <\/span>Deep Lunges<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n
    4. Run along path to pavilion and do <\/span>Box Jumps<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n
    5. Run to curve in parking lot and do <\/span>Hand Release Merkins<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n
    6. Run back to intersection and do <\/span>Elbow Peter Parkers<\/b> (<\/span>I need a better name for this exercise<\/span><\/i>).<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

       <\/p>\n

      —– Repeato —–<\/span><\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

      Mary.<\/b><\/h5>\n
        \n
      • Straight Leg Crunches<\/b> until time ran out. \u00a0Not sure on the number. \u00a0The Q made a feeble attempt at cadence. \u00a0Offsides was just making up random numbers in response at random times whenever he felt like it and Van Pelt had enough of the tomfoolery so he gave the Q the silent treatment.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

         <\/p>\n

        We were in danger of burning too many calories, so we chose to end the pain.<\/b><\/p>\n

         <\/p>\n

        Today\u2019s Q\u2019s Random Musings:<\/b><\/h5>\n
          \n
        • The getting-old-and-boring stunt of Site Qs not attending Zima-led beatdowns continues. \u00a0At least we didn\u2019t have to suffer through any more of Thistle\u2019s lame, repetitive Arbor Acres jokes. \u00a0Maybe he\u2019s so old (<\/span>how old is he?<\/span><\/i>), that he can\u2019t remember he\u2019s already made the same joke about 78 times already. \u00a0Coincidentally, can I correctly assume that Pita and Wobegon have some upcoming vacations planned in June?<\/span><\/li>\n
        • At Mean Mr. Burlap\u2019s WIB, we had to INCREASE the number of reps per lap. \u00a0Today\u2019s Q was much kinder and suggested to the PAX that we DECREASE the reps each time. \u00a0That\u2019s how you please a crowd.<\/span><\/li>\n
        • There was almost NO mumble chatter today. \u00a0The very respectful PAX were way too dignified and classy to stoop to a level so low.<\/span><\/li>\n
        • The braintrust present today realized that the \u2018W\u2019 in \u2018WIB\u2019 certainly does not stand for wise.<\/span><\/li>\n
        • Van Pelt\u2019s pacing was expertly spot on. \u00a0That dude had us rolling into the finish line pretty darn close to 6:15.<\/span><\/li>\n
        • Thank the lord that I didn\u2019t have to go mano a mano with Cherry Pie again at WIB. \u00a0I probably would have tapped out, taken my recording device, and went home. No mas. \u00a0Non merci. I\u2019m not suffering through that special brand of hell ever again.<\/span><\/li>\n
        • The Brookberry stretch limo must have gotten stuck in traffic. \u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
        • I can only hypothesize that THE Pony Express\u2019s route to the AO was hindered by Cobra\u2019s new high tech Homeland Security measures installed on Muddy Creek Greenway. \u00a0#JusticeforJelly<\/span><\/li>\n
        • You know it\u2019s going to be a light crowd when multiple (yes, more than 1 and way more than 2) people contacted me last night with pre-arranged excuses about why they couldn\u2019t come to the beatdown in the morning. \u00a0Well played sirs. That took some creative prior planning.<\/span><\/li>\n
        • Seriously thank you to the two strong dudes who joined me this morning. \u00a0You guys were an inspiration and almost made the workout enjoyable…. almost.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

           <\/p>\n

          Announcements:<\/b><\/h5>\n
            \n
          • Splash is kicking Leukemia\u2019s ass, but he\u2019s still collecting donations. \u00a0So close to his goal. Contact him for more details about how to give.<\/span><\/li>\n
          • Some little event called Schmedfest will happen on August 25. \u00a0We should probably start talking about that.<\/span><\/li>\n
          • Memorial Day convergence on Monday. \u00a0The Estate, Run N Gun, and The Outhouse will all converge at The Outhouse AO (Leinbach Park) at 7:00 am. \u00a0VI will still launch as usual at 5:30 (<\/span>double down opportunity<\/span><\/i>). \u00a0Mongoose will do whatever the hell Mongoose wants to do with #SpeedTarp. \u00a0See Van Gogh for Murph possibilities.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

             <\/p>\n

            Prayers:<\/b><\/h5>\n
              \n
            • Offsides shared true words of wisdom as he took us out this morning.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Thanks for the keys, Thistle. \u00a0I left them with the orderly who was teaching your Silver Sneakers class at Arbor Acres.<\/span><\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Zima out.<\/span><\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

              Three’s a Crowd The 24th of May in the year 2018 Those present included: His Highness, Duke Offsides IV; Lord Van Pelt, the Seventh of his name and Workout Daddy for the day; and a crappy failed 1990’s malternative beverage, Zima, the gullible Q and Workout Baby.     Our Story Begins … It\u2019s all […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[84],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5017","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wib"],"acf":{"q":"Zima","date":"5\/24\/18","pax":"Offsides, Van Pelt (WD), Zima (QIC and WB)"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5017","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/200"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5017"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5017\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5023,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5017\/revisions\/5023"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5017"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5017"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5017"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}