{"id":26661,"date":"2026-04-10T08:40:10","date_gmt":"2026-04-10T12:40:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/?p=26661"},"modified":"2026-04-10T08:41:21","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T12:41:21","slug":"the-artemis-ii-splashdown-beatdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/2026\/04\/the-artemis-ii-splashdown-beatdown\/","title":{"rendered":"The Artemis II Splashdown Beatdown"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What gave it away? The astronaut on my right calf? The full space sleeve? The nerd glasses? The Star Wars shirts? YHC digs space. The M and I have been geeking out on both the box office smash Project Hail Mary (amazae! amaze!) and the Artemis II mission the past few weeks. Seemed like the theme was just begging to happen at a beatdown. It went like this:<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Warm-O-Rama<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Side Straddle Space Hops, Whirly With The Cosmic Claps, Arm Spacey Things, Alternating Lunar Leg Lunges, Mr. Stretchy \u201cBuzz&#8221; Stretch\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>The Thang<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The rocket has to push hard to escape Earth&#8217;s gravity. Best we could do is to ascend the parking deck.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Grab the flag, head to the parking deck. <span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0All the way to the top, stop for 5 Moon Merkins and 5 Heels To The Stars at every turn. Pass off the flag at each stop.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the top: flag planted, winke lit, and here we go, cadets:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>The A.R.T.E.M.I.S. Circuit<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Round 1: 15 IC<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Round 2: 10 OYO<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Round 3: 5 OYO<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">A \u2013 Apollo Ohnos\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">R \u2013 Ranger Merkins<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">T \u2013 Toy Soldiers<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">E \u2013 Everyone Run! (lap down and back)<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">M \u2013 Mike Tysons<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I \u2013 Imperial Squat Walkers<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">S \u2013 Scorpion Dry Dock<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Next: We did not have the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2026\/04\/09\/nx-s1-5779671\/artemis-flywheel-astronauts-resistance-workout-bone-loss\">Flywheel Device<\/a>, which is<\/span>\u00a0<span style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"margin: 0px;padding: 0px\">used to train Artemis II astronauts<\/span>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So we recreated with wall sits and 5 Head-Shoulders-Knees-and-Toes down the line.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Finally, we celebrated the trip around the dark side of the moon with a lap around the dark side of the\u2026parking deck.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Back down: same way you came up<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> with merkins, heels to heaven, and flag hand-offs.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Mary: The Splashdown\u00a0<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">As the Orion capsule hits the atmosphere, things get bumpy.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><b>Dying Cockroach x15 IC:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Simulating the tumbling of the capsule, I guess?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><b>Flutter Kicks x15 IC:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Treading water in the Pacific, perhaps?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Then we finish Mary right on time with calls by committee. Good picks.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">And done.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">COT:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Check the new Smaritan Ministries channel for all the good we are doing there, and jump in.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Spicoli needs Qs for Urban Assault, step up!<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Prayers for:<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Praise for the space mission and the unifying effect it has had<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Tammy\u2019s M is expecting in the fall!<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aging parents and raising teenagers at the same time<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Burn\u2019s MIL is getting home from a bone marrow transplant soon. Praise!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Mumble chatter and friendly conversation were good. Topic included regrettable email addresses, space toilets, and a potential NASA contract for Sutton Bros. Jorts were mentioned at least twice, and there may be better \u201cE\u201d exercises out there, as it turns out. We got a sneaky 1.5 miles in, which is really pretty weak compared to the 252,756 the Artemis traveled.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Love Urban Assault, and today\u2019s group was one of the reasons why. Thanks for the keys, Spicoli. I left them in the lunar rover.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What gave it away? The astronaut on my right calf? The full space sleeve? The nerd glasses? The Star Wars shirts? YHC digs space. The M and I have been geeking out on both the box office smash Project Hail Mary (amazae! amaze!) and the Artemis II mission the past few weeks. Seemed like the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":372,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[91],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-urban-assault"],"acf":{"q":"Wobegon","date":"4-10-26","pax":"Tammy, Burns, Spicoli, Mutton, Lambchop, Bootsie, Frostbite"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26661","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/372"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26661"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26661\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26663,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26661\/revisions\/26663"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}