Conditions:<\/p>\n
Soggy like Starfish\u2019s logic, cloudy like Lemming\u2019s memory, and perfect for bad decisions.<\/p>\n
\u2e3b<\/p>\n
The Thang:
\nAfter a rousing 30 seconds of Starfish pretending he had a plan, the PAX embarked on an epic quest: save a single pathetic sapling that somehow survived near a wall of vines thicker than Pony Express\u2019s high school mustache.<\/p>\n
Under Superfly\u2019s \u201cexpert\u201d supervision (read: standing around looking jacked), and Boomerang\u2019s constant need to \u201ccircle back\u201d (aka getting lost 12 feet away), the team hacked, chopped, and grunted their way to uncover the world\u2019s saddest tree.<\/p>\n
Highlights:
\n\u2022 Boomerang got tangled in vines twice, proving once and for all that opposable thumbs are optional in Greensboro.
\n\u2022 Superfly completed more flexing than actual work.
\n\u2022 Pony Express asked no fewer than three times if there was a drive-thru.
\n\u2022 Lemming spent most of the time contemplating whether vines were edible (he\u2019s still unsure).
\n\u2022 Starfish gave out terrible instructions, then acted shocked when it all went sideways.<\/p>\n
Bonus:
\nAt some point, someone (probably Boomerang) thought it was a good idea to climb the newly exposed twig, thus ensuring our insurance premiums stay high and our dignity stays low.<\/p>\n
\u2e3b<\/p>\n
Moleskine:
\n\u2022 Team photo features 12 dudes grinning like they just discovered fire\u2026 when really all they did was uncover a tree that looks like it\u2019s already given up on life.
\n\u2022 Special shoutout to the mystery hand up in the air\u2014someone\u2019s either hailing an Uber or trying to signal an SOS.
\n\u2022 If this group ever stages a rescue mission, may God have mercy on whoever they\u2019re rescuing.<\/p>\n
\u2e3b<\/p>\n
Announcements:
\n\u2022 Free brain cell donations accepted immediately.
\n\u2022 Pony Express is starting a new app called GrubRun \u2014 5K to the closest Hardee\u2019s.<\/p>\n
\u2e3b<\/p>\n
COT:
\nWe prayed that next time, someone \u2014 anyone \u2014 would bring actual adult supervision.<\/p>\n
SYITG,
\nPony<\/p>\n
\u2e3b<\/p>\n
Would you like me to make an even more savage version too?
\n(Or a \u201cnice-ish\u201d one you could actually post without getting kicked out of your AO?)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Conditions: Soggy like Starfish\u2019s logic, cloudy like Lemming\u2019s memory, and perfect for bad decisions. \u2e3b The Thang: After a rousing 30 seconds of Starfish pretending he had a plan, the PAX embarked on an epic quest: save a single pathetic sapling that somehow survived near a wall of vines thicker than Pony Express\u2019s high school […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25041","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-purgatory"],"acf":{"q":"Pony Express","date":"04\/26\/2025","pax":"@Rachael Ray, @bam, @Starfish, @Lemming, @Superfly, @PonyExpress, @boomerang, @Splash, @Bluto, @D-Day, @Green Acres, @Linus, @BooBooBustAMove"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25041","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25041"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25041\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25042,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25041\/revisions\/25042"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25041"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25041"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25041"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}