{"id":20909,"date":"2022-12-21T00:31:15","date_gmt":"2022-12-21T04:31:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/?p=20909"},"modified":"2022-12-21T00:31:15","modified_gmt":"2022-12-21T04:31:15","slug":"the-12-pains-of-christmas-presented-by-the-grinch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/2022\/12\/the-12-pains-of-christmas-presented-by-the-grinch\/","title":{"rendered":"The 12 Pains of Christmas, Presented by The Grinch"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>YHC put out a preblast that honestly should have caused most of the attendees to make other plans for a chilly Tuesday morning.\u00a0 What the hell were those 15 guys thinking?\u00a0 15?\u00a0 Really, 15 at Flatline?!\u00a0 Yippee!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>BEATDOWN.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The Grinch doesn\u2019t do things the normal Christmas-y way, so we\u2019re going to reverse that holly jolly song.\u00a0 In The 12 Pains of Christmas, the order is: 12, then 12 + 11, the 12 + 11 + 10 etc.\u00a0 Here are the exercises.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>12: Hundred Feet of Sleigh Riding [<i>Mosey<\/i>]<\/p>\n<p>11: Christmas Present Cutters [<i>Box Cutters<\/i>]<\/p>\n<p>10: Diamond Earring Burpees [<i>You know, diamond earrings.\u00a0 The gift you\u2019re \u201csupposed\u201d to get your wife.<\/i>]<\/p>\n<p>9: Hillbilly Toy Soldier Squats<\/p>\n<p>8: Shoulder Tap Merry Mike Tysons [<i>Merry is the word that comes to mind when you think of him, right?<\/i>]<\/p>\n<p>7: Dreidel Squats [<i>Ratchet Squats &#8211; DC<\/i>]<\/p>\n<p>6: Rudolphs [<i>Red Nose Tap Hand Release Merkins<\/i>] Note: If anyone can figure out how to tap your nose without releasing your hands, I\u2019d like to know.\u00a0 Wait, on second thought, DON\u2019T tell me.\u00a0 Nevermind.<\/p>\n<p>5: Grinch Getups [<i>Prisoner Getups<\/i>]<\/p>\n<p>4: Rooftop Hopping Dominick the Christmas Donkey Kicks [<i>Donkey Kicks with a Stand Up Side-to-Side Jump<\/i>]<\/p>\n<p>3: Super \u201cNorth\u201d Stars [<i>Mary Katherines &#8211; DC<\/i>]<\/p>\n<p>2: Plank Jack \u201cFrost\u201d WMDs<\/p>\n<p>1: Hundred Christmas Truces [WWIs]<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>DONE.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>MUSIC SELECTION<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>We\u2019ll just say that most of the songs could qualify as Christmas music.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>THOUGHTS.<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A (3 sizes bigger) heartfelt thank you to all who attended today.\u00a0 It was cold.\u00a0 It was dark.\u00a0 That workout sucked.\u00a0 But doing it without you guys would have been miserable.<\/li>\n<li>The Q started the beatdown right out of the gates.\u00a0 5:30, let\u2019s go!\u00a0 The PAX dutifully started the mumblechatter .05 seconds later.<\/li>\n<li>Let\u2019s not measure the moseying.\u00a0 Please just take my word for it.\u00a0 And since nobody has any orange cones (ahem), we don\u2019t need them to mark the corners.<\/li>\n<li>While we\u2019re at it, who talks about breaking out a tape measure on a first date?<\/li>\n<li>Is anyone else concerned about the type of porn that Lamb Chop watches?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even know reindeer porn was a thing.<\/li>\n<li>Either Cherry Pie doesn\u2019t respect the Q enough to show up on time (hmmm?) or he thought we\u2019d be starting with arm circles and wanted to avoid them.\u00a0 Whichever it is, when he finally arrived, he jumped right up front and never left the lead pack of reindeer.<\/li>\n<li>This beatdown will not be the worst part of Mutton\u2019s day.\u00a0 #GoDeacs<\/li>\n<li>Root Canal is weird.\u00a0 There\u2019s something wrong with that dude.\u00a0 But you know what?\u00a0 He\u2019s going to work his ass off and give at least 111% each time he shows up.\u00a0 He ain\u2019t going to quit either.\u00a0 No way.<\/li>\n<li>Bevo\u2019s exercise form is a thing of beauty.\u00a0 We all could learn a few things from him.\u00a0 But bless his heart; he tries so hard at the mumblechatter.\u00a0 It\u2019s precious.<\/li>\n<li>Van Gogh drove the team all morning and was utterly determined to complete the entire workout.\u00a0 YHC thought he and Huckleberry would do it too, right up until the end when the last two rounds kicked all of us in the nuts.<\/li>\n<li>In an odd bit of late night posting (perhaps fueled by some double IPAs), Burns said he was excited about the upcoming beatdown.\u00a0 I\u2019m quite sure that excitement was decimated as soon as the Burpee round started and the ensuing math equations were calculated for the number of reps to be completed.<\/li>\n<li>Drip is creepy.\u00a0 The nice guy demeanor is surely an act though, right?\u00a0 Do we think he has a stash of dead bodies in his basement or maybe burns ants with a magnifying glass in his spare time?\u00a0 He gave a lame attempt at G-rated trash talk this morning, but listening to that is on par with watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Disney Junior.\u00a0 #DreamBigPrincess\u00a0 And talk about \u2018stashes (see what I did there?), is he allowed anywhere near elementary schools with that thing?<\/li>\n<li>Chick Flick was a little too chipper this morning.\u00a0 When I was 25, the only time I saw 5:30am was when I was crawling home from the bars.\u00a0 Mucho respect for that young whippersnapper!<\/li>\n<li>Rubber Ducky is quickly learning the ropes of F3.\u00a0 He was certainly getting a full education this morning and from the sounds of it, that dude will be posting regularly.<\/li>\n<li>Despite Huck\u2019s attempt to modify each exercise to his own liking before the Q could explain (stop being so damn far ahead!), he still absolutely obliterated the workout &#8211; to no one\u2019s surprise.\u00a0 I kept trying to calculate the speed of his reps, but eventually just submitted to the fact that he\u2019s not human and his only kryptonite may be the bicep curl (conveniently not included today).<\/li>\n<li>Although I was not cool enough to be in every conversation (felt like I was back in high school), the tidbits of 2nd F that I heard were nothing short of classic.\u00a0 Well done sharing the love, gentlemen.\u00a0 That\u2019s what this group workout thing is all about.<\/li>\n<li>True to form, Spicoli arrived at, well let\u2019s just say, Spicoli Time.\u00a0 But here\u2019s the thing, and yes I\u2019m going to sell him out.\u00a0 Our follically-challenged friend texted me the night before asking about the first workout spot in the event he\u2019d be running a few minutes late.\u00a0 Let\u2019s dissect that for a minute.\u00a0 If he knew BEFOREHAND that he\u2019d be late, doesn\u2019t it seem wise that he should employ some countermeasures to prevent said action of arriving late?\u00a0 Just something to ponder.<\/li>\n<li>Workbench was eagerly and quickly shedding clothing.\u00a0 I think he was about to go full Chippendale when there were calls of \u201cput it back on\u201d.\u00a0 Obviously when a man works THAT hard, he\u2019s going to generate some heat.<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019m pretty sure many of today\u2019s exercises were not on Wobegon\u2019s most favorite list.\u00a0 But I didn\u2019t hear a single complaint out of him (was I not listening hard enough?), just the sounds of dominating personal challenges.\u00a0 Is he a silent sufferer or a silent assassin?\u00a0 You choose.\u00a0 Let\u2019s put out a Twitter poll.<\/li>\n<li>Turnover, is Planet Fitness on holiday hours this week?\u00a0 (Still funny)\u00a0 Maybe the juice bar and shiatsu massage room are closed?\u00a0 Actually, since the guy has such an aversion to working out outdoors in the sub-85 degree weather, I feel I owe him a debt of gratitude for showing up this morning.<\/li>\n<li>BAM was not there so I can&#8217;t include him in the backblast.\u00a0 Shit, I just did.\u00a0 Oh well.\u00a0 I guess while I&#8217;m at it, Mongoose, Mongoose, Mongoose.<\/li>\n<li>It was duly noted that, like my kids, Burns did the exact opposite of my instructions.\u00a0 #YouDoYou\u00a0 I was too confused to really pay attention, but I think he still did all of the exercises, just in reverse order.\u00a0 Whatever.<\/li>\n<li>Kudos to TO who correctly called out the meaning of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.history.com\/news\/christmas-truce-1914-world-war-i-soldier-accounts\">Christmas Truce<\/a> exercise.<\/li>\n<li>Workbench was very afraid that the 12 Pains of Christmas will make a reappearance tomorrow at Mayhem.\u00a0 I promised him that the cardboard won\u2019t, but there will be an airing of grievances.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t say anything about WIB though.<\/li>\n<li>It was unanimously agreed upon that Burnsy Claus\u2019s cardboard was better than YHC\u2019s.\u00a0 Ironically, YHC\u2019s didn\u2019t include any middle fingers.<\/li>\n<li>Actual gratitude was shared for keeping the group mostly together.\u00a0 Thank you, and I too, agree.\u00a0 It\u2019s much more fun when everyone gives it their all, but can stay together.\u00a0 The camaraderie this morning was off the charts.<\/li>\n<li>There was a real Ball of Man at COT!\u00a0 Lots of dudes hugging it out.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>ANNOUNCEMENTS:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Convergence Saturday at 7am at Alcatraz.\u00a0 Bonus opportunity: Murph at 6am.<\/li>\n<li>OH BOY!\u00a0 OH BOY!\u00a0 OH BOY!\u00a0 Cherry Pie on the Q at Conspiracy.\u00a0 Drip on the Q at Bells n Whistles.\u00a0 Zima on the Q at Mayhem.\u00a0 You certainly will get your money\u2019s worth at one of the first two options!!\u00a0 Lots of mumbles, groans, and threats of sleeping in.<\/li>\n<li>Tomorrow at Mayhem, we will celebrate a holiday a bit early that falls on December 23 \u2026. FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US.<\/li>\n<li>Neither the Launchpad or The Iron Throne have Qs for Monday.\u00a0 Either step up to lead or converge with the Idiots.<\/li>\n<li>If you want to become a Site Q, there are a lot of opportunities coming up.<\/li>\n<li>Saturday, January 7 = F3WS 9 year anniversary convergence!<\/li>\n<li>Friday, January 6 = volunteering at Augsburg Overflow Shelter (see Wobegon)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>PRAYERS:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Holiday travels<\/li>\n<li>New and upcoming babies<\/li>\n<li>Those struggling with mental health<\/li>\n<li>Those who have lost family members<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Zima Out.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Bevo, since we didn\u2019t finish, can I keep the keys so we can try the beatdown again?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>YHC put out a preblast that honestly should have caused most of the attendees to make other plans for a chilly Tuesday morning.\u00a0 What the hell were those 15 guys thinking?\u00a0 15?\u00a0 Really, 15 at Flatline?!\u00a0 Yippee! &nbsp; BEATDOWN. &nbsp; The Grinch doesn\u2019t do things the normal Christmas-y way, so we\u2019re going to reverse that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[112,79],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bootcamp","category-flatline"],"acf":{"q":"Zima","date":"12\/20\/22","pax":"Drip (creepy grin made creepier by that half-shaved lab rat on his upper lip), Bevo (Site Q extraordinaire), Root Canal (old), Turnover (cold), Van Gogh (too far ahead of everyone else), Huckleberry (Workbench\u2019s chauffeur), Chick Flick (baby face), Rubber Ducky (beast mode), Lamb Chop (stay off the interweb), Workbench (Chippendale), Cherry Pie (not really a respect), Burns (baby, but not the WB for once!!), Mutton (we\u2019re not friends tonight), Wobegon (not going to throw shade on the overlord), Spicoli (set the f\u2019ing alarm clock 5 minutes earlier), Zima (Q)"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/200"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20909"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20909\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20911,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20909\/revisions\/20911"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}