{"id":20739,"date":"2022-11-28T22:40:07","date_gmt":"2022-11-29T02:40:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/?p=20739"},"modified":"2022-11-28T22:40:07","modified_gmt":"2022-11-29T02:40:07","slug":"the-second-battle-of-hanes-park","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/2022\/11\/the-second-battle-of-hanes-park\/","title":{"rendered":"The Second Battle of Hanes Park"},"content":{"rendered":"

There was some unfinished business down at the park this morning.\u00a0 For those that could afford the gas money and were willing to travel the distance, help was needed to continue the battle against the Grim Reaper.\u00a0 Knowing the fight would be tough and the numbers would be small with a completely different battalion, the little general chose a similar tactical approach as the previous campaign.\u00a0 With some promising HC\u2019s from true HIMs (Spicoli and Cherry Pie) the gloom before, spirits were high.\u00a0 They quickly dropped when neither of said HIMs decided to post, but sent a senile Mutton in their place.\u00a0 Why, oh why, would Mutton return to the battlefield after suffering many wounds just a few short days before?\u00a0 Who else followed the rallying cry to #MCGA (Make Conspiracy Great Again)?\u00a0 Seemingly an insurmountable task of trying to elevate Conspiracy against the likes of the most conveniently located beatdown, Mayhem, and the only kettlebell-dedicated beatdown, Bells N Whistles, was undertaken by some certifiable fools.\u00a0 The challenge enticed a drug pusher, a sock puppet, a butcher, a gas man, a creepy smiling horror flick doll, something best described as a 90s beer can, and a clearmalt last remotely popular in Japan.\u00a0 These men did not fear the Reaper.\u00a0 Despite the promise of joining the fight though, the burnout and Thanksgiving dessert were nowhere to be found.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The battle horn sounded and the PAX blindly ran towards the cries of terror.\u00a0 Strategically chosen by Sir Drip to lure the Reaper into his (not so) well thought out trap, the battlefield location was the second intersection on Pilot View.\u00a0 Following his advice may have been a poor choice by the PAX since there was overwhelming evidence that he was a double agent working for the side of evil.\u00a0 The most damning piece being that silly grin he wore.\u00a0 It was almost as if he wanted the men to suffer on Pilot View.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Lamb Chop continually bordered on insubordination by constantly questioning his given orders, but proved to be a valuable foot soldier in the end.\u00a0 When the PAX encounter a foe that can be defeated by \u201cgum flapping\u201d, he will be a first round draft pick.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Speaking of those with the gift of gab, Palin regaled us with stories of his ice birth in a one igloo hospital town.\u00a0 Although debatable, he might have done a few exercises during story time as well.\u00a0 Even though nobody was actually listening to him, we all thoroughly enjoyed his company.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Let it be known that Root Canal doesn\u2019t need a full 45 minutes to get in a proper beatdown.\u00a0 He will show up whenever he pleases.\u00a0 He will unleash his special brand of entrance music (i.e. tooting).\u00a0 We will all be better for his presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Mutton runs head first into danger and never complains.\u00a0 Let him be a shining example for the rest of us.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Schlitz runs his mouth.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 Beware of a workout where Sour Mash and Schlitz go head-to-head.\u00a0 Impressionable young children will never be the same if they are within the audible blast zone.\u00a0 On another note, I am very proud of Schlitz.\u00a0 Think back to what that dude\u2019s first workout was like for him!<\/span><\/p>\n

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WARMUP.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Who cares?<\/span><\/p>\n

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BEATDOWN.<\/b><\/p>\n

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LOCATIONS<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

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  1. Pilot View, the second intersection<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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    EXERCISES<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n