{"id":18126,"date":"2021-12-10T14:29:21","date_gmt":"2021-12-10T18:29:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/?p=18126"},"modified":"2021-12-10T14:29:21","modified_gmt":"2021-12-10T18:29:21","slug":"why-are-you-still-fat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/2021\/12\/why-are-you-still-fat\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Are You Still Fat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>WARMUP.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">SSH.\u00a0 Whirlies.\u00a0 Michael Phelps.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>BEATDOWN.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">EXERCISES<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Pullups<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> x 5<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Hand Release Merkins<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> x 10<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Dips<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> x 15<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Heels to Heaven<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> x 20<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Bobby Hurleys<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> x 25<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Do a set of exercises.\u00a0 Run up a level of the parking deck and back down.\u00a0 Do another set of exercises, but this time, pop off the top one (i.e. don\u2019t do it).\u00a0 Rinse and Repeat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Since the group was so fast, we had time to repeato, but moved the Bobby Hurleys to the top and shifted everything else down, adjusting the reps accordingly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">There was still more time, so we started a third round, moving the Heels to Heaven and Bobby Hurleys to the top and everything else down and adjusting the reps accordingly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>DONE.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>THE Q\u2019S THOUGHTS:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the end of the beatdown, the Q went to his car to retrieve a recording device.\u00a0 Upon his return, he discovered that he had been replaced and rather hastily at that.\u00a0 The PAX were all circled up in some kind of plank position, intently (and exactly) following the directions of what appeared to a random passerby.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have to ask someone else for the details of what happened, but there\u2019s no way the Q could possibly be insulted by that chain of events.\u00a0 Oh, and Spicoli got his wish for a selfie (which was originally denied by the Q) as the young woman reappeared about two minutes later asking to take a Snapchat.\u00a0 Root Canal was flummoxed as to what that was, but dutifully smiled as his picture was taken.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Spicoli was on time.\u00a0 Read that again.\u00a0 In fact, I will type that again because I may never be able to do it again.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Post Hole claimed it was hard avoiding the fartsack this morning, but his performance did not appear to suffer, at least from the Q\u2019s vantage point as the semi-permanent six.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Mule tried to earn an extra Man Card by not bringing gloves, but then the prospect of doing pullups on a rusty overpass made him accept Spicoli\u2019s offer of an extra pair of gloves.\u00a0 Given the state of Spicoli\u2019s infamous headgear, that was a bold move by Mule.\u00a0 Maybe the gloves provided some kind of this-workout-is-too-easy superpower though as he breezed through it nary breaking a sweat.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">It took Cheesesteak about 4 minutes into the workout to call the Q an a**hole.\u00a0 He then proceeded to berate the Q and degenerate his lifestyle choices for the rest of the time.\u00a0 All of this while doing what Cheesesteak does best during a workout &#8211; whatever the hell he feels like, as long as it has nothing to do with the exercises the Q has called.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Even though the Q did not call for a single burpee during the beatdown, every single time I looked over, Spicoli was doing burpees.\u00a0 If he wanted to do 43 minutes straight of mind-numbing burpees, he could have done them in his nice new spacious backyard.\u00a0 Not sure why he drove over to a dingy parking garage.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Lamb Chop must be going through a career change and interning with Root Canal.\u00a0 He took his apprentice role very seriously this morning and well, let\u2019s say that he announced his presence multiple times.\u00a0 Fear of further gastronomical distress was probably the reason that he chose not to actually workout.\u00a0 He may try to tell you that he exercised, but I think the only muscles that got a workout were in his tongue (and maybe his sphincter too).<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Q was confused upon seeing Hedwig at arrival time, thinking he had mistakenly shown up at a running workout.\u00a0 Hedwig dispelled any myths of lacking bootcamp strength by seemingly effortlessly doing 1 finger pullups with his 63 lb body.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the spry young age of 89, Root Canal is a model for the rest of humanity.\u00a0 Rather than jibber jabber like those many, many, many, many generations younger than him, he quietly dominated the workout with an odd smile adorning his face.\u00a0 And get this, he was near the lead for the entirety of the workout while doing the actual exercises.\u00a0 Go figure.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Q was deservedly body shamed.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Post Hole seems legitimately confused by his age.\u00a0 That happens when you enter your 5th decade.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Despite Root Canal\u2019s efforts, nobody was naked.\u00a0 Ewww, get your mind out of the gutter.\u00a0 Not naked in that way.\u00a0 I guess you had to be there.\u00a0 I\u2019m putting my fig leaf back on now.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>ANNOUNCEMENTS:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Supposedly there is some holiday decorating happening on Wednesday, according to Spicoli.\u00a0 Lamb Chop and Cheesesteak are not invited.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">There might be a convergence somewhere sometime.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>PRAYERS:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">There is need everywhere.\u00a0 Help out where you can.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Oh boy.\u00a0 Root Canal took us out in a special way that only Root Canal can.\u00a0 I might have to save this recording.\u00a0 Strong words my friend.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Zima Out.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>WARMUP.\u00a0\u00a0 SSH.\u00a0 Whirlies.\u00a0 Michael Phelps. &nbsp; BEATDOWN. &nbsp; EXERCISES Pullups x 5 Hand Release Merkins x 10 Dips x 15 Heels to Heaven x 20 Bobby Hurleys x 25 &nbsp; Do a set of exercises.\u00a0 Run up a level of the parking deck and back down.\u00a0 Do another set of exercises, but this time, pop [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[112,91],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18126","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bootcamp","category-urban-assault"],"acf":{"q":"Zima","date":"12\/10\/21","pax":"Spicoli, Root Canal, Cheesesteak, Mule, Hedwig, Lamb Chop, Post Hole, Zima (Q)"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18126","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/200"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18126"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18126\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18128,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18126\/revisions\/18128"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18126"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18126"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18126"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}