{"id":17065,"date":"2021-09-02T11:33:52","date_gmt":"2021-09-02T15:33:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/?p=17065"},"modified":"2021-09-02T11:33:52","modified_gmt":"2021-09-02T15:33:52","slug":"the-shmed-2021-overnight-beatdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/2021\/09\/the-shmed-2021-overnight-beatdown\/","title":{"rendered":"The Shmed 2021 Overnight Beatdown"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Shmed overlords did not plan properly for last year\u2019s event when over 40 people (PAX + FiA + 2.0s + innocent bystanders) unexpectedly posted for the 2am workout.\u00a0 Those are crazy numbers for Winston-Salem!\u00a0 So to curtail the numbers to a more manageable crowd this year, YHC was asked to Q.\u00a0 As a faithful servant of the F3 overlords, I dutifully agreed to lead the overnight beatdown this time around.\u00a0 So what if I\u2019m on #DadDuty?\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t everyone wake up their small children at 1:30am for calisthenics and burpees?<\/span><\/p>\n

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Knowing that the promise of high monetary donations were on the line (thanks to some true #HIMs), YHC expected a diverse group to show up.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we\u2019re all about.\u00a0 All shapes, sizes, colors, preferences, genders (oops, nope), political beliefs, and college loyalties (we are in the South) were likely to be present.\u00a0 How could I possibly design a beatdown that would physically challenge even the most beastworthy of the PAX, yet promote the guys who rather enjoy the 2nd F, all while keeping the group relatively close to together?\u00a0 Since my latest failures at my most recent Spartan race are still weighing heavily on my mind (I don\u2019t let things go easily), I hatched a plan to create a mini circuit with a few Spartan-esque obstacles thrown in.\u00a0 The PAX could do the circuit at their own pace and still be within sight and shouting distance of their compadres.<\/span><\/p>\n

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OK, time to fire up Google Maps satellite view and see what I learn.\u00a0 Not bad, but I needed more intel.\u00a0 Due to an untimely, without warning, and completely boneheaded decision, I was told that I had to go back to my office for the first time since March of 2020.\u00a0 (COMPLAINT ALERT: Yes, I need to sit in my office with the door closed, wear a mask in the hallway, and run Zoom meetings with my coworkers who are sitting in their offices a few feet away from me.\u00a0 Are you F#&ING kidding me??\u00a0 How does that make any sense?)\u00a0 The only silver lining with that is the office is right next to the Fairgrounds so I headed out on a nice 100 degree day in my work attire to walk around the not-so-well secure AO.\u00a0 I picked up a few more interesting nuggets of ideas and the plan was formed.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Knowing that the hours during Shmed weren\u2019t mine (it\u2019s all about the kids\u2019 dinner, bath, bedtime), I chose to set up for the overnight beatdown prior to Drip\u2019s kickoff beatdown at 6pm on Friday rather than later that evening.\u00a0 I loaded Thing 1 and Thing 2 in the car, along with all of the props for the workout and headed over to the Fairgrounds early.\u00a0 As I\u2019m driving over to the launch spot, the wonderful Crisis Control ladies come up to my car and helpfully say, \u201cYou have a reputation and you\u2019re insane.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cUhhhhhhhhh, hello.\u00a0 (weird pause)\u00a0 I\u2019m Zima.\u00a0 Nice to meet you.\u201d\u00a0 Somehow I think I have Greenspan to thank for that.<\/span><\/p>\n

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<INSERT COMMENTARY ABOUT DRIP BEING A COMPLETE A-HOLE AND THOROUGHLY DESTROYING THE PAX AT THE KICKOFF BEATDOWN.\u00a0 BUT AT LEAST HE BROUGHT BEER AND WILL HAVE EXTRA FOR THE OVERNIGHT WORKOUT.><\/span><\/p>\n

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Fast forward to the wee hours of the morning on game day (i.e Shmed +8H).\u00a0 Why is it easier to wake up 6 year olds for a 2am beatdown than it is to get them up five and a half hours later for school?\u00a0 The little rugrats popped right out of bed, got their workout clothes on, declined the option of a snack, checked that I had the most important thing – their bikes, and hopped in the car.\u00a0 We\u2019re off.\u00a0 To keep us awake, I blasted the soundtrack from my old high school football highlight films and belted the lyrics right along with Dee Snider.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re not gonna take it.\u00a0 No, we\u2019re not \u2026\u201d\u00a0 The kids asked why we were listening to oldies \u2026 <enthusiasm bubble bursts>.<\/span><\/p>\n

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We arrived at the launch spot.\u00a0 I grabbed the kids\u2019 bikes and turned on the blinky light so I wouldn\u2019t lose the little angels (if you\u2019ve been to a workout with my boys, you know why this is necessary), but we probably wouldn\u2019t need them because the AO is lit up.\u00a0 WAIT!!\u00a0 What the hell?\u00a0 The lights aren\u2019t on?\u00a0 Crap.\u00a0 Oh well.\u00a0 Adapt and overcome.\u00a0 Right?<\/span><\/p>\n

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T minus a few seconds to launch time.\u00a0 Check the digital HC\u2019s.\u00a0 Curiously a few PAX are missing (didn\u2019t think I was going to let that one go, did you @Drip and @Burns?).<\/span><\/p>\n

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Ask for FNGs.\u00a0 No response.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Introduce myself to the PAX and announce that I\u2019ll be the Q for the next hour.\u00a0 Seemingly everyone else, except for me, knew that this was only a 45 minute beatdown.\u00a0 Off to a great start so far.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Announce that we will NOT be finishing at the launch spot, but rather over by the circuit area, and will NOT be ending early (see, I told you I don\u2019t let things go easily \u2026 see blackblast from last convergence).<\/span><\/p>\n

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Warmaramamamamamama.<\/b><\/p>\n

Some stupid time-wasting BS.\u00a0 It\u2019s 2am.\u00a0 It\u2019s probably about 95 bloody degrees and 1,000% humidity.\u00a0 Everybody is warm already.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just get started.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The Beatdown<\/b><\/p>\n

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Run around the pitch black, dark course.\u00a0 Shaped kind of like a W with a short loop on top.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Station 1: Hand Release Spider Merkins x 10<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 2: Bobby Hurley x 20<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 3: Burpees x 10<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 4: Up and over picnic tables<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 5: Bear crawl x 185 feet<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 6: Burpees x 10<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 7: Iron Mikes x 10 (DC)<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 8: Heels to Heaven x 20<\/span><\/p>\n

Station 9: Heavy Carry x 350 feet (Buckets, Atlas Stones, Dumbbells, Kettlebells, Cinder Blocks, Small Children)<\/span><\/p>\n

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Rinse and Repeat.<\/span><\/p>\n

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DONE.<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dangerous Thoughts from the Q\u2019s Head:<\/b><\/p>\n