{"id":14195,"date":"2020-12-26T21:43:05","date_gmt":"2020-12-27T01:43:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/?p=14195"},"modified":"2020-12-26T21:43:05","modified_gmt":"2020-12-27T01:43:05","slug":"festivus-for-the-rest-of-us","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/2020\/12\/festivus-for-the-rest-of-us\/","title":{"rendered":"Festivus for the Rest of Us"},"content":{"rendered":"

As everyone knows, a major holiday just passed.\u00a0 I was a bit surprised that even in this crazy year, there wasn\u2019t much fanfare about it.\u00a0 Perhaps there were people who felt uncomfortable sharing and did not want to be persecuted for their beliefs.\u00a0 Whatever the case, I will do my civic duty, stand up for the silent, and allow the PAX to celebrate the not-at-all-fake holiday of <\/span>FESTIVUS<\/b>!<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WARMARAMA.\u00a0 <\/b>SSH, Mountain Climbers, Whirly with the Clap, Michael Phelps, 5 Burpees each for the 3 late arrivals (15 total).<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BEATDOWN.<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Since we needed to find an <\/span>aluminum pole<\/span><\/i>, we defied CDC recommendations and traveled through the park from the launch spot to the pullup bars.\u00a0 (Yes, I know they aren\u2019t made from aluminum, but work with me here.)\u00a0 However, because it was a long trip, we needed to make a pit stop at the tennis shelter.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

LOCATION: Tennis Shelter (Pit Stop)<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

To make sure we were nice and warm, we did a quick combo circuit 5 times of 5 reps each:<\/span><\/p>\n

Alternating Step Ups, Dips, Derkins, Pulse Ups<\/b><\/p>\n

One super late PAX (not @Spicoli or @Zuckerburg) showed up so we did 5 Burpees in his honor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

LOCATION: Pullup Bars (serving as our \u201caluminum\u201d Festivus pole)<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

We traveled over to the pullup bars and gathered around for FESTIVUS DINNER<\/em>.\u00a0 Like proper guests, we all sat on our sixes for a feast of abdominal exercises and the AIRING OF GRIEVANCES<\/em>.\u00a0 We performed 20-25 reps IC of an exercise, then held <\/span>Plank<\/b> while each person went around and aired a grievance.\u00a0 We repeated this cycle for each exercise.\u00a0 @The H.O.G. and @Palin had heaping amounts of trouble following directions.\u00a0 The grievances ranged from F3 logistics to the state of the world to families to the size of houses and beyond.\u00a0 It was therapeutic for most and all things said during the AIRING OF GRIEVANCES<\/em> falls under Q-PAX confidentiality privileges.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

American Hammer, Box Cutters, WWIIs, Heels to Heaven, Low Dolly, Straight Leg Crunches<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After dinner, it was time for the FEATS OF STRENGTH<\/em>.\u00a0 To end Festivus, a guest must accomplish the Feats of Strength by pinning the Head of Household to the ground, otherwise Festivus is not officially over.\u00a0 Although I\u2019m sure all of the PAX would have loved to watch the silly and futile attempt by emaciated @Palin try to wrestle the Q, social distancing regulations forbade the hand-to-hand combat.\u00a0 Thus, we had to modify the FEATS OF STRENGTH<\/em>.\u00a0 Instead, each PAX would take turns being the Head and would do an exercise for as long as he could.\u00a0 If any of the PAX outlasted the Head, then we would call that a victory (at least for that exercise).\u00a0 If not, the plan was for the exercise to be repeated until someone beat the Head.\u00a0 Unfortunately some smart alec PAX decided to throw their own pride out the window, destroy the spirit of the workout, and quit early.\u00a0 Oh well.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Diamond Merkins:<\/b> Zima<\/span><\/p>\n

Mary Katherines:<\/b> The H.O.G.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pullups:<\/b> Root Canal<\/span><\/p>\n

Burpees:<\/b> Drip<\/span><\/p>\n

WWIIs:<\/b> Mutton<\/span><\/p>\n

Bobby Hurleys<\/b><\/del> Squats:<\/b> Palin<\/span><\/p>\n

Hand Release Mike Tysons:<\/b> Boo Boo<\/span><\/p>\n

Feet at 6\u201d:<\/b> Cheesesteak<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Because a few of the guys were not gracious houseguests, we ended the Festivus celebration and headed home.\u00a0 Many of them were in such a rush, they took the expressway (read: ran a lap around the track to stay warm), while others took the slow back roads (read: I walked).\u00a0 It was a long journey, so we stopped at the tennis shelter for the same pit stop as before.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

LOCATION: Tennis Shelter (Pit Stop)<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Quick combo circuit 5 times of 5 reps each:<\/span><\/p>\n

Alternating Step Ups, Dips, Derkins, Pulse Ups<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

LOCATION: Launch Zone (Festivus Miracles)<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Back in the parking lot, the PAX circled up in <\/span>Plank<\/b> position and each declared one happy moment that occurred over the last week.\u00a0 #FestivusMiracles<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

FESTIVUS OVER.<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANNOUNCEMENTS:<\/b><\/p>\n

Plunger\u2019s going away party at Speas on Saturday, 12\/26 at 8am.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PRAYERS:<\/b><\/p>\n

Health and Happiness in the New Year<\/span><\/p>\n

All the sick people.<\/span><\/p>\n

That everyone get the COVID-19 vaccine.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

NAKED MAN MOLESKIN:<\/b><\/p>\n

Being such a nice guy, the Q did not reach for the low hanging fruit and air the grievance that everyone wanted to say \u2026 but I\u2019ve been drinking tonight, so \u2026 @Palin posted.\u00a0 #StandardGrievance<\/span><\/p>\n

@TheH.O.G. has a very positive view of the world and does not appreciate when others speak ill wills.\u00a0 The caveat to that is any mumble chatter directed at or about the Q and\/or his choice of workouts is completely acceptable.<\/span><\/p>\n

@Cheesesteak did @Cheesesteak things and made everything harder.\u00a0 But I did surprisingly witness him doing a high percentage of the called exercises. #ModifyAsNecessary<\/span><\/p>\n

@RootCanal, the patriarch, was the true Head of Household.\u00a0 He was the only one to defend his title during Feats of Strength as nobody could best him in pullups.\u00a0 #OldManStrength #LivingHisBestLife<\/span><\/p>\n

Just to verify, @BooBoo does not own a van with \u201cFree Candy\u201d painted on the side.\u00a0 For now, he is still allowed within a quarter mile of an elementary school.\u00a0 And he will not admit to starring in 80s porn films.\u00a0 However, he does have a creepy and also kinda sweet stache.\u00a0 He was last overheard making plans to meet @Turnover at the Lizard Lounge later this evening wearing their leisure suits and gold chains and said something about bringing mustache wax.<\/span><\/p>\n

@Drip was happy.\u00a0 @Drip was nice.\u00a0 @Drip was strong.\u00a0 @Drip dominated the workout.\u00a0 None of that should shock anyone.<\/span><\/p>\n

@TheDeuce made a fly by.\u00a0 He zoomed in late, making everyone do 5 Burpees, then realized how easy the beatdown was and left early.\u00a0 #ThanksForStoppingBy #WasItSomethingISaid Seriously though, showing up for part of the beatdown is better than not at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Stop me if you\u2019ve heard this before.\u00a0 @Mutton silently made the rest of us look silly during the workout.\u00a0 Can someone please find something that challenges him and\/or makes him complain?<\/span><\/p>\n

The @FiveDollarFootlong is BACK BABY!\u00a0 And hopefully not for a limited time.\u00a0 That is the true #FestivusMiracle.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Donations have been made in all of your names to the Human Fund.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Zima Out.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Drip, the keys are with the clock in a bag nailed to the wall (search for the true story of Festivus on the interweb to understand).<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As everyone knows, a major holiday just passed.\u00a0 I was a bit surprised that even in this crazy year, there wasn\u2019t much fanfare about it.\u00a0 Perhaps there were people who felt uncomfortable sharing and did not want to be persecuted for their beliefs.\u00a0 Whatever the case, I will do my civic duty, stand up for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[112,93],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bootcamp","category-impossible-situation"],"acf":{"q":"Zima","date":"12\/26\/20","pax":"Root Canal (WD), The H.O.G. (WB), Boo Boo, Mutton, Drip, Cheesesteak, Palin, $5 Footlong, The Deuce, Zima (Q)"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/200"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14195"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14199,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14195\/revisions\/14199"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}