{"id":13115,"date":"2020-09-21T12:03:05","date_gmt":"2020-09-21T16:03:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/?p=13115"},"modified":"2020-09-21T12:03:05","modified_gmt":"2020-09-21T16:03:05","slug":"vive-le-tour","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/2020\/09\/vive-le-tour\/","title":{"rendered":"Vive Le Tour"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although I\u2019d love to write this backblast in the voice of Phil\u2019s and Bob\u2019s (R.I.P. Paul) post-race commentary, I could never do justice to Phil\u2019s unique style or even correctly capture a single Bobke-isms.\u00a0 So I\u2019ll cut my losses and just describe the beatdown in plain, old, boring American English.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Today is the eve of the completion of the 107th edition of Le Tour, the race that almost nobody thought would take place this year.\u00a0 Seemingly it will end, as it always does nowadays, tomorrow on the famed cobblestones of the Champs-Elysees.\u00a0 As we head into that final day, YHC took the opportunity to create a TdF-themed workout.\u00a0 Admittedly, it was more themed than challenging, so I apologize for those PAX who were hopeful for a full on snotwoggler.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">As it is an even year, the Tour traveled around France in a clockwise direction.\u00a0 Starting in Nice on the southeastern coast of France, it will head clockwise, staying on the southern border.\u00a0 Then it will proceed straight up the west side until it cuts directly through the middle of the country to the eastern border shared with Germany.\u00a0 Eventually, the teams will then make their way over to Paris to finish up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Just like those 176 riders (22 teams of 8), the PAX of Team F3WS moved clockwise around the Hanes Park route.\u00a0 Unfortunately, the team was not able to travel all 21 stages of 3,483 kilometers through 5 mountain ranges: Alps, Massif central, Pyrenees, Jura, and Vodges.\u00a0 We only had 60 minutes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">By the way, if you don\u2019t watch The Tour on TV, you are truly missing out on some of the most beautiful natural scenery your eyes will behold.\u00a0 As Bobke likes to say, \u201cit\u2019s the greatest travelogue ever devised\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">In case you\u2019re curious (as one of our \u201criders\u201d was), here is a breakdown of some of the 2.3 million euro prize money available.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Awards &#8211;\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><b>Yellow Jersey (Maillot Jaune):<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> winner of the overall general classification [500,000 euros], but he usually donates all of the money to his team since he\u2019ll make lots more in endorsements<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><b>Green Jersey:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> most consistent rider \/ best sprinter [25,000 euros]<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><b>Polka Dot Jersey:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> King of the Mountains [25,000 euros]<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><b>White Jersey:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> young rider [20,000 euros]<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><b>Team Classification:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> top 3 riders per team [50,000 euros]<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><b>Daily Stage winner:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> [11,000 euros]<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">daily sprint, KOM, aggressive rider, stage placing, and daily jersey payouts [various payouts]<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Beatdown.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Even though each World Tour team only has 8 riders this year, we brought an extra 1 and had 9ish.\u00a0 This was the roster that we brought to the Tour de Hanes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>General Classification:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Cherry Pie, Cheesesteak<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Mountain Climbers:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Root Canal<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Sprinters:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Buyout<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>All Arounder<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Post Hole<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Breakaway Specialist:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Palin (<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">if you\u2019ve done OGs with him lately, you\u2019d understand)\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>Time Trialist<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">: The H.O.G.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Super Domestique:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Boo Boo <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">(took good care of this teammate, Picnic Basket)<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>Director Sportif:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Zima<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">As we started <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stage 1<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in Nice (i.e HP parking lot), it was fairly easy and flat, so we did some <\/span><b>Warm-o-rama.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0 Since we were on our bicycles, we obviously did some <\/span><b>Freddie Mercuries<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> x 21 IC, for the 21 stages in Le Tour.\u00a0 Because the mountains really separate the contenders, we did <\/span><b>Mountain Climbers x 21 IC<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u00a0 As we were about to start the next exercise, a \u201cteam car\u201d entered the warmup area so we moved away and Reverse Peloton\u2019ed to the foothills of the Cote d\u2019Education.\u00a0 Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, it was obvious that the team did not have a lot of time in training camps to work together as evidenced by the disorganization and confusion over the Peloton (no, not that expensive exercise bike gathering dust in your garage).<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">We entered <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stages 2 through 7<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in the Alps, but just the lower ones so the routes were fairly flat with a few hills sprinkled in.\u00a0 In honor of one of our teammates, we did a <\/span><b>Jacob\u2019s Ladder with 7 Hand Release Clap Merkins and 2 Bonnie Blairs<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u00a0 Between the two spots, which were conveniently marked with tires (check out that planning! although not bike tires), we <\/span><b>sprinted<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> for the Green Jersey.\u00a0 Buyout was the early wearer of it with The H.O.G. and Cheesesteak not far behind.\u00a0 This might be a close race this year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">After the Alps, the race moved into the Pyranees (i.e. Education Hill).\u00a0 On <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stage 8<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">, we did <\/span><b>8 Mountain Climbers<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">,<\/span><b> Bear Crawled<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> up, and performed <\/span><b>15 Burpees<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> at the top.\u00a0 The riders descended the mountain by <\/span><b>Running Down<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and then got on their bicycles (<\/span><b>Freddie Mercuried<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">) for the six.\u00a0 <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stage 9<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> was another similar mountain stage, but had a few less Category 1 climbs so we did <\/span><b>9 Mountain Climbers<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">,<\/span><b> Bear Crawled<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> up, and performed <\/span><b>10 Burpees<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> at the top.\u00a0 It was here that Boo Boo demonstrated his super domestique abilities in support of Picnic Basket by doing most of the work (i.e. Burpees) while PB just drafted behind him and didn\u2019t even seem tired.\u00a0 Again, the riders descended by <\/span><b>Running Down<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and then bicycled (<\/span><b>Freddie Mercuried<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">) for the six.\u00a0 <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stage 10<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> was a rest day, so the wearer of the Maillot Jaune, Cherry Pie, provided us with a <\/span><b>10 Count<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Even though <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stages 10 through 14<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> were in the Massif central mountains, we didn\u2019t climb too much, but rather embraced the flat stages and traveled across Hanes Park by attempting to Reverse Peloton.\u00a0 Our road captain (read: kind and family-friendly superlative for his vocal abilities), Palin, tried to organize the boys, but met some resistance so instead of abandoning the Tour, we mostly abandoned the Peloton.\u00a0 We had a short respite as we interacted with some fans &#8211; IPC\u2019ers &#8211; under the tennis shelter.\u00a0 To prepare our legs for the upcoming mountains, we performed <\/span><b>14 Copperhead Squats<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u00a0 Unknown to most, to succeed in bicycle racing, your team is incredibly important &#8230; so next, we partnered up.\u00a0 One partner did <\/span><b>50 Merkins<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (have you ever seen cyclists arms?) while the other one <\/span><b>Planked<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (and obviously cheered on his teammate to hurry up).<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Peloton stayed together with no breakaways on the way to the high Jura and Alps mountains (read: Pilot View) for <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stages 15 through 18<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u00a0 Conveniently Pilot View has 4 intersections which represented the four finishing towns for these 4 stages (how freaking clever!).\u00a0 At each intersection, the PAX performed a <\/span><b>BLIMPS<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but started with 5 reps and only increased by 1 for each successive exercise.\u00a0 The H.O.G., who claims not to be a climber, grabbed the Polka Dot Jersey on the lower slopes.\u00a0 There was a rest day between <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stages 15 and 16<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">, so Buyout gave us a 10 count after the first intersection.\u00a0 However, Root Canal, Boo Boo, and Picnic Basket got into the early breakaway on <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stage 16<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and left the PAX to chase.\u00a0 With great support to his team, Post Hole jumped to the front of the Peloton, but realized the futility of catching the leaders and saved his energy for the later stages.\u00a0 Much like on the Grand Colombier, riders were completely strewn all over Pilot View and there were not enough cameras or motorbikes to stay with each group.\u00a0 Since there was an actual KOM marking at the Summit Street intersection, Cheesesteak was awarded the major points and grabbed the Polka Dot jersey.\u00a0 Don\u2019t feel too bad for The H.O.G. though, he\u2019s guaranteed to be the winner of the White Jersey.\u00a0 Despite claiming he was \u2018off the back\u2019 and the wearer of the Lanterne Rouge, the opposite was true as Post Hole was doing his turns up front and pulling the Peloton.\u00a0 While the mountain goats waited for the Grupetto (which truly did form) at the peak of the climb, they <\/span><b>Freddie Mercuried<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stage 19<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> was a long descent off the Col de Pilot View winding through the rolling hills of West End with the Peloton yo-yo\u2019ing back and forth, even off-roading a bit a la Lance in the 2003 Tdf Stage 9, on the way to the track.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stage 20<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> was a mountain time trial in the Vodges, however we TT\u2019ed on the pancake-flat running track, rather than in La Planche des Belles Filles.\u00a0 During the \u2018race of truth\u2019, each PAX <\/span><b>ran<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> a 400 meter loop, departing 10 seconds apart, while the riders waiting in the start house warmed up their legs with an <\/span><b>Al Gore<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">With the Maillot Jaune secured, Team F3WS enjoyed a few sips of Champagne during the conversational slow mosey on the way into Paris for <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stage 21<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u00a0 When we hit the fabled paved cobblestones of the Champs d&#8217;Elysees (read: dirt path after crossing the bridge), the final sprint was on.\u00a0 <\/span><b>Jailbreak.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0 In a photo finish, Buyout barely nipped Palin by the width of a shoelace at the steps of the podium.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">As the rest of the riders trickled over the final finish line, we did some <\/span><b>Mary<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> on the podium (fancy new entrance to Hanes Park).\u00a0 Of course we rode our bikes (Freddie Mercury x 21 IC).\u00a0 Then, since Le Tour took a hiatus during the two World Wars, we did <\/span><b>WWI x 21 OYO<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and <\/span><b>WWII x 21 OYO<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u00a0 Finally, all PAX raised their arms in celebration (i.e. <\/span><b>SSHs OYO<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">) until time ran out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">FINISHED.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>ANNOUNCEMENTS:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Salem Lake run on Sunday at 7am.\u00a0 No drops.\u00a0 Burns has HC\u2019ed and he knows the penalty for fartsacking.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">IronPAX Week 4 drops on Sunday.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Family friendly convergence at Crisis Control Ministries on October 3 at 8am.\u00a0 7am, there will be a tour of the facilities.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>POST RACE RECAP:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although I wore a special bike jersey that \u201cused to fit\u201d, Cheesesteak pointed out that I didn\u2019t employ the complete kit.\u00a0 Was it a #QFail or was I just saving everyone from having to see me in my squishy butt pants?\u00a0 I also broke UCI rules and didn\u2019t wear a helmet.\u00a0 I expect there will be a fine forthcoming.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Speaking of workout attire, Bevo must have been so excited about doing the IPC this morning, that when he got dressed in the dark, he put on his wife\u2019s tights.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yes, it would have been much cooler if I had BIBO\u2019ed (biked in biked out), but surprise late night houseguests the night before messed with those logistics.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The race organizers absolutely fined Buyout for his blatant disregard of rules by wearing improper race attire, or more accurately not wearing it.\u00a0 Does he own a shirt?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">There\u2019s some controversy brewing in the local press because Cherry Pie was immediately tested for EPO at the conclusion of The Tour.\u00a0 The French media just hates Americans who wear the Yellow Jersey.\u00a0 I have no idea why.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Root Canal geeks out on watching Le Tour as much as YHC, but probably won\u2019t make a big deal of it.\u00a0 He\u2019s also too humble to admit how much of a rockstar bike rider that he probably is.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">From the vantage point of the race referee&#8217;s car, it actually appeared that Cheesesteak did most of the called exercises, rather than modify to whatever the hell he felt like.\u00a0 There\u2019s a first time for everything.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Palin talked a lot.\u00a0 I\u2019ve completely stopped listening to him.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Nobody believes you Post Hole.\u00a0 You lose credibility when you\u2019re in front of everybody, but trying to convince us that you\u2019re struggling.\u00a0 Phewy.\u00a0 Try again.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Picnic Basket was a great addition to the team for this year\u2019s roster.\u00a0 It was nice having Boo Boo too, I guess.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">You know you\u2019ve made it as a Q when the Mumble Chatter starts flying out of Buyout\u2019s mouth.\u00a0 I was literally too stunned to remember any of it.\u00a0 Also, it\u2019s hard to hear when he\u2019s so far ahead and still grinning.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">As a star of future Tours, The H.O.G. spent most of the morning near the front of the Peloton.\u00a0 That was quite an impressive feat after his stellar performance in the recent one day classic, OGs and Tractors.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">A few riders competed in the 3rd stage of Tirreno-Adriatico (or IPC Week 3), happening at the same time as Le Tour de Hanes: Huckleberry, Litterbox, Van Gogh, Bevo, Greenspan, Burns, Spicoli.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>PRAYERS.<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">RBG and whatever comes next for the Supreme Court.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">2020.\u00a0 (That\u2019s it)<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The H.O.G. took us out.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Zima Out.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Although I\u2019d love to write this backblast in the voice of Phil\u2019s and Bob\u2019s (R.I.P. Paul) post-race commentary, I could never do justice to Phil\u2019s unique style or even correctly capture a single Bobke-isms.\u00a0 So I\u2019ll cut my losses and just describe the beatdown in plain, old, boring American English. &nbsp; Today is the eve [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[112,93],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bootcamp","category-impossible-situation"],"acf":{"q":"Zima","date":"September 19, 2020","pax":"Cheesesteak, The H.O.G. (White Jersey), Buyout, Palin, Post Hole, Boo Boo, Picnic Basket, Root Canal (or whatever he is calling himself now) (Lanterne Rouge), Cherry Pie, Zima (Q)"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/200"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13115"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13115\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13116,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13115\/revisions\/13116"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.f3winstonsalem.com\/f3\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}